The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
by Trixy2
Summary: Sequel to "The End is the Beginning is the End" Danny is missing at his own accord, the team must find him before he does something stupid, or worse.
1. Chapter 1

Flack sat at his desk with anger in his eyes, his heart raced as his fingers danced along the wooden top. His phone sat squarely in front of him, in shock from the conversation he just finished with Danny. Finish was such a definite word; Danny was the one to say goodbye. If he hadn't been sure before, he was sure now; Danny was planning on doing something stupid. Whether it would be to himself or someone else, Flack was positive he had to do something and fast.

Looking up he found Lindsay leaving the Police Station, without a minute to loose he got up and ran after her.

"Lindsay!" He called out as Lindsay ignored him, speeding up her pace. "Lindsay, stop!" He repeated as he caught up with her. Gently grabbing her shoulder he turned her around to face him, noticing right away that she had been crying.

"What do you want, Don?" She asked, without making eye contact.

"What's wrong?" He asked in confusion.

"It's Danny." She said wiping her eyes as she began to tear up once again. "He's changed, he's not the same person." She said as her voice cracked.

"I know." He said rubbing her shoulder. "What did he say to you Lindsay?"

"He said he had to leave or he would end up hating me. He said that everything in his life is messed up and he doesn't want me around. In more then words." She sniffled, pulling a napkin from her pocket and blowing her nose.

"Lindsay, I don't know how to say this, but I think Danny has done something stupid." Flack was being direct, Lindsay could tell he was scared.

"What do you mean?" She said looking up at Flack, her tears stopped for the moment.

"He said he was already dead, so he is going to stay dead. Then he said goodbye and hung up." Flack took a breath, "We need to find him, and quickly."

Before Lindsay could answer, officers all around them began to scramble as radios were flying. "Hey, what's going on?" Flack said to a passing cop.

"The guys transferring your prisoner were just taken out, Derek Harris escaped!" The young cop said as Flack's heart dropped.

"Oh my god." He said under his breath as his mind went to Danny, had it been him? "Lindsay we have to find him, and we have to do it NOW." Flack said as he ran out to see what happened.

Lindsay stood in shock as the news broke out, the Danny she knew would never kill a cop for revenge, although the Danny she knew was long since dead. She could feel the bile rise up in her throat as she looked around a the men and women running around her, it was as if she was moving in slow motion. Lindsay could feel the pieces of her heart breaking away as she stood, holding her chest, forcing back the tears that were threatening to fall. She lost him once, she couldn't do it again.

Looking down she realized her cell phone was in her hand and was ringing repeatedly. Picking it up, she realized her voice was gone. Clearly her throat she spoke softly.

"Monroe." She was lost.

"Lindsay, it's Mac. Is Danny with you?" He asked, unaware of Danny's current situation.

"No, he's gone." She answered dully.

"Derek escaped, I think he has people working for him. We need to find Danny before he does." He explained.

"You aren't hearing me Mac, Danny is gone. He doesn't want to be found." A tear finally broke through.

"What are you talking about?"

"He told Flack that he's dead. He's gone, Mac. He is gone and it's my fault." She felt her knees buckle.

"Lindsay, are you still at the Station? I'm sending Stella to get you." He said, not aware of how bad the situation really is.

"Hes gone." She said again as she collapsed on the floor. Luckily a passing officer, grabbed her before her head hit the floor.

* * *

Every cop in the precinct was at the crime scene before Flack got there. The car that was taking Derek to Central booking was on fire, the Police escorting him dead on the ground. Veteran cops stood back with their hands covering their mouths in shock, the gruesome way these men were killed was sickening. Standing at the edge of the tape, Flack stood in shock. The fresh snow around them melted as the car burned.

"What happened?" Flack asked as Mac walked up behind him.

"It was an ambush. A man walking by said that the black car over there T-boned the cruiser as it came through the intersection, when it stopped moving about four or five guys in black jackets and ski mask swarmed the car. When Derek got out they started shooting, I think a bullet hit the gas tank." Mac said pointing at the crime scene.

"This was planned and executed." Flack said pulling his notebook from his pocket.

"I talked to Lindsay." Mac looked to Flack for answers. "Where is Danny?"

Flack looked at his co-worker with dread in his eyes. "Well, I was right. He shouldn't be alone." He said with sadness in his tone.

"What happened?" He said as he lifted the tape to enter the crime scene.

"He said he's not coming back and that he is already dead so he is going to stay dead." He said looking at the burnt Officer on the ground. "Looks like he wasn't dead when the car exploded, could have crawled from the car before he died." He said as they examined the body.

"Most likely. You think he's going to hurt himself?" Mac asked, pulling on some gloves.

"Maybe, maybe not. He's not the Danny we know anymore." He said crouching down next to the victim.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Mac said looking at the young cop. "Damnit, this kid of only twenty-three." He said looking at his drivers license in his wallet.

"Who ever did this, you can bet your ass they'll be going after Danny next." Flack said standing up. "I'm going to call Adam see if he can trace Danny by his cell phone or something."

"Won't work, call needs to be active, or turned on. I've called him a million times, voicemail on the first ring. He doesn't want to be found right now, and sadly, I've trained him well enough. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be found." Mac explained.

"So what? We just sit here with our thumbs up our asses, while Derek Harris has a free for all?" Flack was furious.

"No, we do everything I would do in Danny's situation. If we don't know where he is, we'll go where he is going. I have Stella going to pickup Lindsay, I have more CSI's coming to process this scene. You and I are going to find Danny before Derek does. We are going to end this." Mac said with determination. Without answering Flack looked at Mac and gave him a nod. They had a job to do, and they weren't going to stop until it was finished.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days had gone by with not a single lead, Lindsay has resolved herself to the lab. Staying at all hours of the night tracking down information about Danny's family and past. It would have been easier for them to go to his parents, but seeing as how they had to bury an empty casket months before they would not be very forthcoming. Finally managing to find five minutes of silence, with pure exhaustion, Lindsay slowly walked into the break room and fell asleep on the soft leather sofa. People ran around her as they worked to find Danny or Derek, but no time passed at all as she slept soundly. What felt like only a minute turned into an hour as she felt someone slowly rocking her shoulder. Looking up she found a mound of hair and brown eyes staring down at her.

"Stella what's wrong?" She said sitting up automatically.

"Nothing is wrong, I think we might have something." Stella explained with a file in front of her.

"What is this?" She asked, rubbing her eyes as Stella handed her some papers.

"Danny's bank statement, he made a significant cash with-drawl a couple hours ago." Stella said as Lindsay's eyes went wide.

"What? Where?" She looked up, as she removed her jacket from her lap, that doubled well as a blanket.

"A bank in Queens, Mac is on his way there to see if Danny might be in the area. If not that then to look at the surveillance cameras, make sure it is Danny." She stood up from her kneeling position and offered Lindsay her hand to help her to her feet.

"How much did he take out?" She asked as they began walking down the hallway back to their office.

"Two thousand five hundred dollars, plus he cleared some credit cards." Stella said bluntly.

"What?" Lindsay said stopping in her tracks.

"I know, it looks like he emptied his account." She passed her another page from her file.

"If he is trying to disappear, getting rid of credit is a good way to start." Lindsay took a deep breath and looked at her feet.

"This is a good thing Lindsay, we know he is still alive." She said squeezing her shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. Never mind." She said as she brushed past her leaving Stella where she stood, concerned for Lindsay's sanity.

* * *

"I don't give a rat's ass about your policy, I need to see the surveillance tapes, Now!" Flack said holding his badge in the face of the bank manager.

"And I told you, that I am going to need a warrant to let you back there." She stood with a cocky grin on his face, he could almost see the vain in Flack's forehead bursting as his face went red with anger.

"We are investigating a missing person of a New York City detective, he made a with-drawl from this bank a couple of hours ago. If you are withholding information I can have you arrested for a felony. Is that how you'd like to end your day, Mr. Johnson?" He said pointing in his face.

"Listen, we aren't here to start any trouble, we just want to make an I.D. on the person who took the money. Please?" Mac said, moving in front of Flack, who could barely control his breathing, let alone himself.

"First off, my name is Jackson, and no, that is not how I'd like to end my day." He stood back from the raging detective, and took a long deep breath. "Come with me."

"Now, that wasn't so hard was it?" Flack said as he and Mac followed.

The office where the surveillance cameras were kept was small and dark, the wall of screens showed black and white footage of the marbles floors and tellers at work.

"Paper work says he was at teller five at about 4:37pm." Mac said reading the papers in front of him. "Can you play back from 4:20pm on, please?" He said as the security guard shuffled in his seat to find the information.

"There, right there Mac!" Flack said pointing to the screen in the center. In the black and white image, Flack saw his friend. Dressed in the same leather jacket he left the station and jeans, he wore a black baseball cap and he was not wearing his glasses that his friends were accustomed to.

"Yeah, that's Danny." Mac leaned forward to get a better look. "Do you have any footage of the exit, maybe we can get some direction on where he went after he left this bank." He explained as he dialled his phone.

"Is it him?" Stella answered in a hurry.

"Yes, it's him. We are going to have a look at the footage and see where he went next. See if you can get me a warrant for all footage in this area from 4pm to now."

"Got it." Stella said as she ended the call.

Putting the phone back at his side, he looked up to Flack to find him staring intently on the screen. "He doesn't look up once Mac." He explained.

"He knows we'd be here." Mac watched as Danny put his with drawn cash into his side messanger bag, all the while avoiding the cameras.

"This is a lost cause. He is either planning something really stupid, or he is going to Mexico. He doesn't want to be found." Flack said as he turned and left the room.

"Can you make us a copy of that video?" Mac asked the security guard as he followed Flack out of the room.

"No problem, boss." He said as he went to work.

"Don!" Mac said as he walked after Flack who hurriedly went outside of the bank. "Hey, stop. What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm being realistic. I'm not even sure I want to find Danny right now, I could kill him." He said as he began to pace back and forth.

"Flack, he's not himself. If anything he needs our helps now more then ever." Mac explained, Flack was too angry to listen.

"Our help?" He stopped and looked at him, his eye brows curled at his anger. "When I find him, and so help me God I will, I am going to knock him out cold! How could he do this to us? I sat in his hospital room day in and day out, hoping to God he woke up and the second we end this bullshit he runs away! How dare him!" Flack said with venom.

"You know it's not that simple, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in his position. He's right, he already died. It's a good place to start over." Mac tried to understand.

"So what? You'd just give up on every person that cared about you? It's selfish, it's stupid and I will never understand it, Mac. Never." He said as he pulled his keys out and walked to his truck.

Mac let out a deep sigh as he went back inside to get his own copy of the surveillance footage, though he tried to be strong, Mac was just as mad at Danny as Flack was. For months they did everything they could to protect him, to get him healthy and to find his attacker, and for him to leave them like this, he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive him either.

* * *

Danny watched as the black truck pulled up to the bank, Flack and Mac jumped out and went straight inside. The coffee shop around him was busy with patrons on their daily business, Danny however felt dead inside watching his friends hunt desperately for him.

"Can I get you anything else sweet heart?" The waitress asked as she stood by his table, she was older and reminded Danny of his own mother.

"No, just the bill thanks." Danny said quietly as he finished his coffee. Keeping his head low and his hat over his eyes, he hid from the world. Opening his wallet, his heart dropped; looking up at him he found Lindsay's brown eyes as she smiled. If he couldn't have the life he wanted, he wanted to take the best part of it with him. Running his thumb over the picture, the waitress returned.

"There ya go Hun." She said putting the bill on the table. "She's pretty." She said, noticing the picture in his wallet.

"She's beautiful." He said as he smiled at her.

"You're wife?" She asked sincerely.

"No, just someone I used to know." His smile turned into sadness, as she smiled at him.

"I know that look." She said sitting down at the table across from Danny. Danny looked up at her with a confused look.

"What look?" He said, as he crooked his eye brows.

"You love her, I can see it in your eyes. What are you running away from?" She crossed her legs.

"Who says I'm running away?" Danny asked leaning forward on the table.

"Oh sweetheart, I've been where you are. I'm from small town America, I came a runnin' to New York when I was a youngen. Now look at me. I'm a middle aged waitress, but I know people, and I know that you are on the run." She crossed her arms across her chest as Danny laughed.

"Yeah, I guess you have me pegged." He said looking down.

"Is it from her?" She asked again, hoping he'd spill.

"No, well... yeah in a way." Danny sighed and looked up. "I was in a really bad place, and I didn't really see an alternative."

"Kind of selfish don't you think?" She said bluntly.

"Yeah, I guess." He smiled. "I'm Danny, by the way." He said holding out his hand to shake hers.

"Paula." She said shaking back. "Tell me Danny, what was so horrible you had to run away from it?"

"Ah." Danny said wondering what he could tell her. "A couple of months ago, I... um, well I nearly died."

"Nearly? What happened?" She leaned closer, she suddenly seemed very motherly. Danny looked at the table as he rested his elbows on it.

"I was shot in the chest. The heart actually." He explained.

"But you survived, and now you're running away?" She questioned.

"It's a little more complicated then that." He said pulling a bill out of his wallet to pay the tab, standing up to leave.

"No wait, wait." She said, motioning for him to stay. "You survived, what sounds like, a horrific experience and now you are leaving it all behind? Why?" She looked genuinely concerned, Danny sat back down.

"It hurts too much." He said sadly.

"Don't you think it'll hurt worse to go through this alone?" She asked, he need not answer, his face spoke volumes. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" She asked, holding his forearm that rested on the table.

"I'm not going to be in town too much longer, I'm staying at a motel for now." He answered as he wiped a tear from below his eye.

"Now, this may sound a little strange coming from an old lady you just met a cafe, but..." She looked him in the eye. "My son is away at school, why don't you stay in his room until you can disappear?"

"No, I couldn't do that. You barely know me, I could be some crazy person." He smiled.

"Danny, I know who you are, and I'd trust a cop staying in my home more then some crazy guy from a coffee shop." She smiled.

"How'd you-" He said confused.

"I watch the news sweet heart, I wasn't sure at first but the gun shot confirmed it. Although you look pretty good for a dead guy!" She laughed, Danny laughed.

"Like I said, it's complicated." Danny smiled.

"Well, are you going to let me be a good citizen, and give me a chance to convince you this is a mistake, or are you going to disappear alone?" She asked. Danny stared at her, in shock from her hospitality; he couldn't get over how much she looked and acted like his own mother. His heart hurt, knowing how much pain she would be in right now, but weighing his options he made a decision.

"If it's not too much trouble." He said shyly.

"I wouldn't have offered if it was." She smiled.

"Thank you, Paula." He said standing up.

"I'll get my stuff, and show you the way." She said walking back to the cash. Danny let her pass, as he walked to the front window, seeing his friends argue before getting into their truck and drive away. His heart ached watching then leave, he didn't realize how much he missed them until now.


	3. Chapter 3

Danny had not realized how exhausting it was to hide his face, every corner he had to be more cautious, every place he went he hid his eyes was any other jerk of his neck, or twist of hid body to avoid cameras and people. Walking with Paula to her apartment he felt safe, he didn't understand it but he did. He need not talk too much, she seemed to have those bases covered. From the cafe to her apartment was six blocks, Danny wondered how she had a voice left when they got there, this made him smile.

Entering the old building, Danny kept his eyes open. The old wood under their feet creaked and cracked as they made their way up the steps to the third floor. Paula already had her keys out when they got to her door.

"Now, it isn't much, but it's home." She said in warning as the door opened slowly, as she flipped on the lights Danny was shocked by how beautiful the small apartment was. It may not have been much but she had turned it into a lovely home.

"Wow, this is more then not much." He said as he entered and looked around. As he slipped off his shoes, dizziness took over his eyes, and he realized how tired he actually was.

"Whoa!" Paula said, grabbing his shoulders as he tried to stand up straight.

"Sorry, I guess I didn't realize how tired I was." He smiled slightly.

"Here, I'll show you to your room." She said holding his elbows to steady himself.

"Thanks-" He said, being cut off by a yawn.

"No problem." Paula said with a laugh as they entered her son's room. The room was dark blue with large posters lining every wall.

"Big music fan, hum?" Danny asked, looking at the Led Zeppelin poster above the bed.

"Yeah, he's a little rocker!" She laughed. Danny stood beside the bed looking through his bag with one arm covering his chest protectively. "You alright?" She asked noticing his face was a little twisted with pain.

"What?" Danny asked, looking at Paula. "Oh, no. I'm alright, sometimes when I get tired I get some pain. It's not a big deal." He said pulling a small bottle of white pills from his bag.

"What are those?"

"Vicodin." He answered. Feeling her comfort level change, he looked at her to find her looking scared. "It's not like that. I... I have them for a reason, my Doctor prescribed them, I'm not a junky." He smiled, and he face softened.

"That's not what I'm worried about." She suddenly looked sad. "I'll get you some water." She said as she turned and left the room. Danny watched her as she went, the pain in his chest pulsed through his upper body as his eye lids got heavier. Sitting down on the bed, he felt like he hadn't slept in months. His heart ached, but this time it wasn't physical, this time he missed Lindsay as a tear fell from his eye.

In the kitchen Paula stopped and leaned forward at her sink, holding herself up. What was she doing? She went over in her head, helping a stranger was not something she did on the regular. Pulling herself back to the task at hand she took a long deep breath and began filling the glass with cool water. Turning back to the room she walked, the door slowly creaked open, revealing a soft orange light that dusted the hallway with colour. Inside she found Danny had already fallen asleep on top of the covers on his side. She could see him shivering as she got closer. Putting the glass on the small table beside the bed, and pulled a blanket over his shoulders, knowing she was doing the right thing, she smiled as she turned the light off and left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

* * *

The meeting with the team went by in slow motion, Lindsay sat staring ahead, no longer able to stay alert. She heard bits and pieces as the team talked out their findings and ideas. She heard them say it was him, and that he was avoiding the cameras. Mac noticed Lindsay's absence and looked at her from across the table, it looked as if she was staring intently at nothing.

"Lindsay?" Mac said, trying to get her attemtion. "Lindsay you with us?" He asked again, a little more annoyed.

"No." She said as her attention came back to the table, but instead of waiting for lecture, she stood up and left the room.

"Lindsay?" She heard Stella calling as she walked down the hallway to the elevator. Ignoring everyone and everything in the process. The elevator opened quickly as she stepped on, luckily the elevator was packed with enough people she could drown out her own thoughts.

Closing her eyes she thought of Danny, she saw his sandy blond hair, and his toothy smile. She missed his smile, she missed waking up next to it. She hadn't slept in three days and she was beginning to sleep standing up. As much as she missed him, at the moment she felt like killing him, even if she could find him I'm not sure that she would even be able to look him in the eye. Hearing the elevator doors open, she opened her eyes only to find a friendly face.

"Flack." She said as she walked towards him. "Any news?"

"Not yet." He said giving her a hug. "Let me drive you home." He said as he pulled her towards the doors.

"I just can't wrap my head around this, Don." She said as he walked with his arm around her shoulders. "How could he be so stupid?" She was angry.

"I wish I had an answer for you Linds, but I have been asking myself the same thing for days." He said looking ahead, hiding his anger from her.

"At least he said goodbye to you, he just walked away from me. What am I supposed to do with that? Huh? How does he expect me to move on from that?" She looked at him, and noticed he wouldn't look at her. "Don?" She asked, as he dropped his hand and unlocked his truck.

"I don't know. I really don't know, and I don't know why he walked away from you. All I know is that when I find him, you can bet your ass I am going to get some answers." Flack said as he held open the door for Lindsay.

Lindsay stared at Flack, it was a side she had yet to see. Taking a deep breath she stepped forward and got into the truck. Before closing the door she paused and turned to Flack.

"I don't know why he is doing this, but I know one thing..." She paused making sure she had his attention, "We both love him enough to fight for him." She said with a soft smile before shutting the door. Leaving Flack with his thoughts, knowing she was right.

* * *

Danny woke up with the sun light in his eyes, moving his arms he stretched. The ache in his chest from the night before had passed and his eyes were still heavy; he felt as if he hadn't slept at all. Shifting in bed he moved to see the clock on the table beside the bed, squinting to make out the numbers he found it only to be 6:45am. Letting out a load groan, he sat up.

The room looked happier as the sunlight danced around the room. Hearing some noise from the apartment, he stood up and slowly walked to the door. Opening it enough to peer out at the apartment, he found Paula working in the kitchen. Straightening out his clothes, he opened the door and shyly walked out.

"Good morning!" Paula said in a cheery tone.

"Um, hi." He said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"I didn't wake you did I?" She asked as she cooked some eggs.

"Ah, no. The sun did though." He said running a hand through his hair. "Listen, Paula I just want to say thank you for... well for, ya know." He suddenly felt nervous.

"I told you, it's no trouble. Would you like some coffee?" She asked, turning to the coffee pot.

"Sure, I don't know how you have so much energy this early." He said with a smile, as Paula pointed him towards the kitchen table and handing him his coffee. "Thanks." He said as he accepted her kindness.

"What's on your mind, Danny?" She asked as she went back to her business.

"What?" He asked, taking a sip from the mug.

"You looked worried, what's the problem?" She asked again, this time looking him in the eyes.

"It's nothing, just..." She looked at his mug.

"...just thinking of the girl you used to know?" She smiled warmly. Danny sat silent for a second.

"I didn't realize how much I missed her until last night." He said sadly.

"You know what can fix all that don't you?" She smiled as she began serving food.

"It's not that easy Paula." She wasn't mad, but confused. "I can't just walk back there and expect everything to just be fine, it's too messy. I've screwed too much up. I've hurt too many people."

"I never said it would be sunshine and lolly-pops, kid! It won't be easy, but if you love her and she loves you, isn't that enough to fight for?" She asked, as she placed the plate if food in front of him. He sat silent as he stared at nothing. "I think they have enough on their hands right now looking for this Derek Harris person." She said plainly as Danny looked up at her.

"What?" He said in shock.

"He escaped? I thought you knew that?" She said, taking her place across from him at the table.

"No, I didn't know that. When did this happen?" He asked as his hands began to shake.

"I guess three nights ago, it's been all over the news." She said taking a bite of her eggs.

"Oh my god." Danny said getting up from the table as he began to pace in the kitchen once again. "Where, I mean, what... what happened?" He stumbled on his words.

"He was being transported when his car was attacked. Two cops were killed and he got away. Police are saying it was an ambush." She explained.

"Did they say who was killed?" He with a trembling voice.

"I'm sorry, I should have mentioned it. I figured you would have known about it." She stood up, realizing that he wasn't just scared, he was beginning to panic. "Danny, calm down." She said.

"I have to go, I have to leave." He said, as he stared off past Paula.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, getting up and stepping towards him.

"He's going to come after me. He knows I'm alive, it's only a matter of when. I have to get out of here." He said, as he went back into her son's room and began collecting his things.

"What? Where are you going to go?" She said following him.

"I can't stay here, you are in danger if I do." He said stuffing his bag.

"Danny, look at me. There is no way any one could trace you back to me. You are safe here!" She said taking his face in her hands. "You are safe here." She repeated, noticing him calm down.

"I can't put your life in danger." he said softly, fear sitting in his eyes.

"I've run from worse. Trust me, please? No one will know about this. It'll be our little secret, OK? You just gotta trust me." Paula explained as Danny's head dropped to his chest.

"What if-" He attempted to speak.

"No, I told you that this wasn't any trouble. I'm trying to save your life Danny, let me." She said, Danny looked her in the eyes, and found himself calm. She was right, there was no way anyone could trace him to her, right now she was his best option.

"OK." Danny said, finally giving into her. "Are you Italian?" He asked with a smile.

"No, why?" She asked.

"Because the only woman that has ever gotten through to me like that has been my mother." He smiled as Paula laughed.

"Smart woman!" She laughed. "Now, get your ass out here and eat your breakfast before it gets cold!" She said pointing out to the kitchen.

* * *

**Hey Guys! I have a feeling the sequel is going to be long. I swear there is more action coming, I just have to get all the other stuff out of the way first.**

**Let me know, what you think. I live for reviews they are fuel for my writing! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Where's your son?" Danny asked, as he took a bite of his toast.

"NYU he wants to be a writer. I told him to go into something that will make him better money, but what do I know, right?" Paula smiled.

"He seems like he'd be a good kid." Danny said looking up at her.

"He's been through enough, we both have." She looked away and began clearly the plates.

"I got that." Danny said taking them away as he stood up, letting her relax in her chair. "What did you mean before when you said that you've run from worse?" He asked in a nonchalant manner.

"Oh nothing." She said as she got up and wiped the table clean.

"Paula, I'm not buying it." Danny smirked.

"Yeah, I didn't think you would." She said leaning on the counter, she took a second to recollect. "There are a lot of bad people in the world Danny, and I married one of them." She smiled as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." Danny said, noticing her smile fading.

"Don't be, I got away." She smiled and turned the water in the sink on.

"What happened?" Danny asked softly, he didn't want to upset her.

"He used to drink, and when he did he liked to play tennis with my face. I was dumb enough to believe that if I had Connor, my son, that he would stop. He did for awhile, but on Connor's second birthday he put me in the hospital." She dropped a plate on the floor. "Oh shit!" She said reaching down.

"It's alright, I got it." Danny said dropping and cleaning the mess.

"No, stop it. You'll cut yourself." She said sweeping up the mess with her dish cloth.

"Paula, I got it. Go sit down." He said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Alright. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to having anyone help." She said as she walked across the kitchen to her chair. Sitting down with a sigh, she watched Danny clean up her mess. Talking a minute she decided he deserved to know the truth about her.

"Danny, my real name is not Paula." Danny looked up at her. "It's Diane, and I know you probably don't trust a lot of people right now, but I want you to know you can trust me."

"OK." Danny said standing up with the broken glass in his hand. "Why did you change your name?"

"Because, that's what you do when you are on the run from the law." She said plainly, as she shrugged and looked away.

"Why?" Danny asked. Instead of running away like she figured he would, he crossed the room and sat down across from her at the table.

"You really want to know?" She asked, staring at Danny's eyes.

"I really do." He said with a comforting smile.

"When I got out of the hospital, I came home and heard Connor crying. He had gotten drunk again and had fallen asleep on the couch and he had left the stove on. Connor was hungry, so he climbed on the counter, like he always did. He had third degree burns all over his feet and arms, and the bastard didn't even wake up. I'm sorry." Paula began to cry thinking of the memories. Danny pulled his chair next to her as he pulled her into a hug.

"It's alright." Danny said, as she cried. "You don't have to tell me, it's OK." He said rubbing her shoulder.

"No, I do." She said looking up at him. "No one would help me. No one would believe me, I was alone Danny. So I did the only thing I could think of." She said wiping the tears away and taking a breath. "I stayed with my sister, it didn't matter, he came to my work, he followed me home, he'd take Connor from school. I couldn't take anymore."

"You killed him?" Danny asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes. I found him asleep on the couch, I put the gun to his forehead and I shot him. I remember thinking how much force it took to pull the trigger." She couldn't look at him this time.

Danny's hands shook, flashbacks of Derek pushing the gun to his neck burned behind his eyes. Shutting his eyes, he could hear his voice. He could feel the pressure in his cheek from being hit, he could smell the gun powder and taste the blood on his tongue. Opening his eyes, a tear fell down his cheeks.

"Danny?" She said looking at him. "You're bleeding." She said taking his hand, the glass he had held onto from the plate was in his hand. Without realizing he had done so, he had squeezed his hand shut around the glass. Blood dripped from the cuts as he looked down, staring at the blood.

"I can't go back." He said as she began to pull the glass from his hand, he winced in pain as it hit him. "If I go back everyone is in danger, he's going to find and kill me."

"Danny, can't you see the difference between you and me? You had people that care about you, that love you and want to protect you! You have to go back to them." She said holding his newly injured hand in hers.

"I can't." He shook his head. "I won't."

Paula looked at him and her heart broke, she had lived through hell and still would not trade places with him. There was no spark left in his eyes, there was no light. Holding his bloody hand, she put pressure on his cuts.

"Well, let's get this cleaned up at least. What do you say?" She asked with a forced smile.

"Yeah." Danny said with no emotions as he stood up and followed her to the sink.

* * *

Mac sat in his office staring at nothingness, hoping an answer would come to him. Praying that wherever Danny was, he was safe. He had been through enough pain in the last couple of months, he hoped he had run off for the right reasons. Considering all options, he knew there was not much he could do to bring him home unless Danny chose to come himself. He suddenly heard his phone ringing, snapping out of his daze he leaned forward and answered it.

"Taylor." He said, as he cleared his throat.

"Miss me yet?" He taunted.

"Derek?" Mac stood up. "I'm not playing your mind games anymore. You've killed too many people, we have every cop in the city looking for you." He fumed.

"Who says I'm playing a game? I would just like to congratulate you on your deception; tricking me into think Danny was dead. Well done." He laughed, his musky voice sent chills down Mac's spine.

"It worked didn't it." He smiled.

"Never show all your cards until you know you've won, Detective. If I'm going to be charged with his murder, I may as well finish the job." Derek laughed again.

"Danny is too smart for your game, Derek. He's protected, there is no way-" Mac was stopped as Derek interrupted.

"Protected? Ha! I guess you'll have to find him first if you want to protect him." Derek said angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Mac said nervously as realization hit him.

"Don't play dumb with me, I thought we were better friends then that. I know Danny is missing. I know you have half the department looking for him, and I know where to find him. I'm going to hang up, just in case you are tracing this call, but I can guarantee that I will find him first. Good-bye Detective." Derek said ending the call.

Mac stood in shock, his body shook with rage. Stella suddenly appeared in the doorway, noticing his frustration she entered.

"Mac, what's going on?" She asked, Mac looked up at her with anger.

"We have a mole in the department." He snapped.

"What? How do you-"

"Derek just called me, he knows Danny is missing and he said he knows where he is. Someone let that information leak out. That's how they knew we were transporting him and thats how he escaped. We have a dirty cop in our department." Mac explained as he moved back to his desk to get his gun and his phone.

"Derek called you?" Stella said, trying to absorb the new information.

"Yes, he's playing a game and it looks like he is winning." Mac explained as he moved past her to leave.

"Mac wait!" She said, grabbing his arm and stopping him.

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"I have some new information, this is a photo taken from a surveillance camera yesterday about the same time as the with-drawl. Danny was at the coffee shop across from the bank he stayed there for about forty minutes and then left with this woman." She showed him the photos, Mac held them as he saw Danny's face. "We had to do some enhancing but it's Danny. We don't know who she is though."

"Has anyone else seen these?" He asked.

"Just Adam and I." She explained.

"Alright, from now on the only people working this case are Lindsay, Flack, Hawkes, Adam and you. I don't want anyone else to know anything. Understand me? I am not getting Danny killed because the wrong person had their nose where they aren't supposed to." Mac explained.

"Alright." She said turning to leave.

"And Stella?" He said as she was nearly out the door, she stopped and turned to her boss. "Find out who that woman is."

"Got it." She said before exiting.

Standing in the doorway, he felt as if he had failed. He had failed when he had gotten Danny kidnapped and he had failed him again. He was not able to protect him, and he knew it. His cell phone vibrated on his belt and he pulled it off, not knowing if he could handle any more bad news today.

"Taylor." He answered as he rubbed his eyes.

"Is it true?" Danny asked in a hushed tone.

"Danny?" Mac said in shock. "What are you doing?" Mac said, closing his office door.

"Mac, is it true? Did he escape?" He asked again.

"Yes, Danny it's true." Mac asked going back to his desk.

"How the hell did this happen?" Mac could hear the fear in his voice.

"I think there is a mole in the department. He knows you're missing, and he's coming after you." He said with concern. "Danny, where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"No you're not Mac. If you can't find me, I doubt he will be able to." Danny said with a smile.

"Why are you doing this Danny?" Mac said, stumbling on what to say to him.

"If I stay away, you'll be safe. I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to any of you." He explained.

"Are you stupid? Don't you think he'll do anything to seek you out! What about Lindsay?" He said, his anger level rising.

"Keep her safe, I'll take care of Derek." He said bluntly.

"Danny, if he ends up dead this whole city will be looking for you. Danny, stay away from Derek and come home." Mac pleaded.

"I'm sorry Mac. Don't look for me." He said as he ended the call.

"Damn it Danny!" He yelled slamming his phone on the desk.


	5. Chapter 5

Danny hung up the pay phone and pulled the strings on his sweater, making sure no one would see his face. Stepping out of the old phone booth, he dug his hands into his pockets. Walking slowly back to his borrowed car, he ducked into the front seat, sitting low so no one could see him. His mind raced with all of the possibilities of where he could find Derek Harris; he knew he was after him, he couldn't decide if he should run or stay and fight it out. Either way he was dead, the only decision he need make, is if he wanted it to be permanent.

Sitting in his luke warm car he saw her leave her building; her chestnut hair shone in the mid winter sun. _God she is beautiful_. He thought watching her exit and walk down the street towards him, as he slouched down in his seat more. Figiting with some keys in her hand, she unlocked her car and opened the door. Before she got in she paused and looked around, she knew he was watching her. Letting out a long sigh, she shook her head and got into her car and a couple seconds later she drove off.

"I'm sorry Lindsay." Danny said to himself as he watched her go, feeling another peice of his heart break as she did. Leaning forward he started the car as he heard a knock at the passengers side. Looking up he saw his old friend Flack standing out side.

"Open the door." He asked as calmly as he could.

Danny considered his options, taking a second he took a deep breath before reaching across and unlocking the door. Flack opened the door, and got into the car. Taking a second neither spoke as they sat in the warming car, staring ahead at the nothingness not able to look at each other.

"You are a hard person to find, Messer." Flack said as he stared ahead.

"Then how'd you find me?" He asked sheepishly.

"I followed my instincts." Flack said before taking a deep breath. "What are you doin' Dan?" He asked finally looking at his friend.

"I-" He began before Flack cut him off.

"Don't be sayin' you are doing this for us, this is about you."

"I honestly don't know what I am doing anymore Don. I don't know. I do know that I come back now, you are in danger." He said leaning forwards, and holding the steering wheel as he turned.

"That's bullshit and you know it. What are you going to do? Go after Derek yourself?" He asked, Danny looked away and sat back in his seat. Realization hit Flack hard. "That is exactly what you are going to do, isn't it?"

"So what? Why do you even care?" Danny spat back.

"What are you stupid? Don't you think we'll look for you if this bastard turns out floating down the east river? Danny, what are you thinkin'?" Flack was beyond angry.

"He deserves worse." Danny said quietly, still not able to look at his friend.

"Fuck him! OK fuck what he deserves! He's ruined enough Danny; you deserve better, Lindsay deserves better. Hell I even deserve better. You are throwin' your life away and for what? Huh? Look at me Danny! For what?" Flack yelled, this time Danny did look at him. Danny looked him straight in the eyes, the only emotion Flack could make out was anger.

"I'm doing this because that bastard looked me in the eye as he strangled me, he smiled while I gasped for air; I'm doing this because he looked me in the eye as he pulled the trigger. I'm doing this for all of the innocent people he murdered in cold blood. That's why I am doing this Don. I'm done." Danny said in a low hoarse tone, he was beyond wrath, he had moved on to revenge.

"So what? Now you are just some vigilante that will stop at nothing for revenge? You're not a fuckin' comic book character Danny!" Flack didn't know the person before him, and it scared him. "What about Lindsay?" He asked hoping to see something of the old Danny.

"What about her?" He said as he huffed.

"Don't give me that. There are a million pay phones in the city and you choose the only one next to Lindsay's apartment building and wait until she leaves for work so you can catch a glimpse? Smart move scientist." Flack said sarcastically.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" Danny said throwing him a death stare.

"I'm hoping to knock some sense into you, but clearly you are beyond help." Flack said angrily.

"I don't need your help. Get out." He said with a cold look.

"Danny I want you to look me in the eye and listen." Flack said leaning in. "I swear to god, if anything happens to Derek Harris I will find you. Understand me?" He stared into Danny's eyes expecting a reaction, after a minute he took a deep breath and got out of the car, before closing the door he turned back to him. "Don't do be stupid Danny."

Danny said nothing as Flack shut the door and walked back to his car. Sitting forward he put the car into gear and he rested his head on the steering wheel for a second before driving away.

* * *

Stella had intently been staring at a computer screen most of the night, he eyes hurt, her neck hurt and her body hurt as she looked for the mystery woman whom Danny had left the coffee shop with. She was their best lead and she wasn't about to give up. With her hand rest on her forehead, partly holding her head in an upright position, her exhaustion was taking over as Lindsay came into the room and pulled up a chair next to her.

"Hey Stella, how are you holding up?" She asked in a dry tone.

"I've been running facial analysis all night and don't have anything. My head is ready to blow." She said in frustration.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?" She asked sweetly, as she rubbed her shoulders.

"No. No, I don't have time for that right now." She said, finally breaking as tear slipped out of her eye. "Oh, Lindsay. I'm sorry." She said wiping her tears.

"It's alright, what's wrong?" Lindsay said pulling her into a hug. "You need a break Stel." She said softly.

"This is stupid, I should be the one supporting you. I'm just tired and frustrated." She said as she laughed through her tears.

"Don't be silly, we all love him." She said. Stella pulled back and Lindsay handed her a napkin to dry her tears.

"I'm so mad at him, how could he do this to us? After everything we've all been through he just leaves us." She was angry and sad, and it had gotten to it's boiling point.

"I think it's more then that. We have all been so invested in what we are feeling but we seem to forget the torture Danny went throught that day. He thought he was dead, and in a way, he kind of was." Lindsay said rubbing her shoulder.

"I know. I think we've all been a little selfish. Instead of helping him through it we sort of just put on a smiling face and acted like everything was fine. Lindsay, I'm not fine." She said.

"That much I can see!" Lindsay said as they both laughed. "If I know Danny, I know he's going through something none of us have ever experienced, and as stubborn as he is, he needs to do it on his own." Lindsay said, hoping she would even buy the line.

"I can't find him near dead again. I don't want to see any of us get hurt over this man. How can someone be so... so... ah!" She said in anger.

"I know." Lindsay said forcing a soft smile.

"Ah, forget it. I should get back to work." She said blowing her nose.

"Why don't you take a break, I'll finish up here." Lindsay said hoping, she'd listen.

"Yeah you don't mind?" She asked, Lindsay shook her head as Stella got up and left the room.

"Come on Danny." She said as she sorted through the work in front of her. Looking at this picture, she got a hint od dejavu; it was as if she had seen him again. Confusion was pushed out of the way as the computer beeped in front of her.

The words 'Match' lit up the screen as the facial analysis finished. The womans name was 'Diane Matherson' she was fifty-seven and was a missing person wanted for murder. Lindsay's heart raced as the sheet printed, with shaking hands she picked up the page and ran out of the room. Seeing Mac in his office she ran as fast as she could into the room.

"Mac!" She yelled entering the room.

"Lindsay, whoa! What's going on?" He asked standing from his desk.

"We have a hit on he woman Danny left with. Her name is Diane Matherson, she's wanted for murder on a cold case in South Dakota!" Lindsay said out of breath from running.

"Murder?" Mac asked, taking the paper from her.

"Do you think Danny is in danger?" She asked, fear in her tone.

"No, I don't think so. From the video, Danny left willingly." He sighed looking down again. "I want you to get on the phone and get all the case files from that murder sent here immediately." He instructed.

"Alright." She moved to leave, Mac put a hand on her arm.

"Lindsay, I don't want anyone knowing about this. No one." He said, he was stern and completely serious.

"Yes, sir." She said as she turned around and left the room.

Once gone, Mac leaned back on his desk and looked at the photo of the woman in front of him. He and Stella had decided to keep the phone call between Danny and himself a secret. Knowing it would only upset her, he decided to keep her out of the loop, for now. They were now another step closer to finding Danny and he wasn't about to let the mole in on whatever they found, he would find him it was the last thing he would do.

* * *

Danny drove back to his hide-away in Queens with a new wait on his chest; knowing Flack would not go easy on him if he did anything to Derek made his plans a little strained. Parking the car on a side street near Paula's building he sat with his head resting on the steering wheel he stared at his hands in his lap. He had never been someone that would commit murder, he had never been the kind of person to wish death on anyone, but at the moment all he could think of was putting Derek through the same torture he had lived through. Broken bones, cut lips, cut cheeks, bruised windpipe, broken heart. He knew now that the reason he had survived is to kill him, to make him feel how he felt the minutes before and after he shot him in the chest. Derek was going to look into his eyes as he choked on his blood and he was going to see what Danny saw; hatred.

Running a hand over his chest he could feel his scar through his shirt, the feel of it made his heart race. The bump on the skin made his anger stick in his throat, it made his sick with revenge. His lips twisted into an angry smile as he sat back and got out of the car. The cold weather bit his skin as he stood up straight, letting go of his chest he made a decision.

He chose to no longer be the victim, he chose to be stronger then Derek, he chose to be humane. He would no longer fight who he was, he was Danny Messer and he would lie down and die for a coward like Derek. He would end him before he killed anyone else. He would find them before Mac did.

Derek was the beginning and the end, and Danny will be his demise.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm coming, already!" Paula huffed as the knock on the door pounded persistently. Running to the door, she opened the door, keeping the chain on the door.

"What?" She asked angrily.

"Are you Paula Miller?" Mac asked showing her his badge.

"What's it to ya?" She asked, as he voice began to shake.

"We're looking for a friend and we have reason to believe you may know something about it." He said plainly, showing her a picture of herself with Danny.

Taking a second to think, she let out a loud sigh before closing the door and taking the chain off of the door.

"Well, don't stand out in the hall." She said, ushering him in the apartment. Mac came through, and Paula stared at the woman behind him. Lindsay entered the apartment behind Mac, walking slowly as she looked around for any sign of Danny.

"Ms. Miller, how do you know Danny?" Mac asked be showing her the photo again.

"He was a patron at my cafe." She answered folding her arms over her chest.

"Why did he leave with you?" Lindsay asked, finally finding her voice.

"He didn't leave 'with' me, he left at the same time as I did." She said showing air quotes.

"Paula, can I call you Paula? Or how about I call you Diane?" Mac asked as Paula jumped at the name.

"What? Why would you call me Diane?" She laughed, hoping she had a lie big enough to pull this off.

"That's your name isn't it? Diane Matherson, from South Dakota. Am I ringing any bells?" Lindsay said stepping in front of Mac, anger on her face.

"I don't know what you are talk-" She attempted to explain before Mac cut her off.

"Yes you do. I think you know more about Danny's whereabouts then you are leading on and I want to know why." He said, closing in on her.

Paula's hands dropped to her side, her heart raced, she was scared. Lindsay looked at her and saw the change, taking a couple steps closer she put her hand on her shoulder.

"We know you killed your husband. We know he beat you up, he hurt your son. I think you killed him in self-defense. We've seen the case file, we aren't interested in you, we just want to find our guy." She said, as softly as she could so she would not spook her.

"You mean your guy." Paula said looking up at her.

"What do you mean?" Lindsay stepped back, taking her hand away.

"I saw it the second you came in here; it's the same face he makes when he is thinking about you." Paula smiled. Lindsay felt her heart break.

"What?" She said softly.

"He was here, but he left this morning. He said he had some business to take care of." Paula explained.

"Why was he here?" Mac asked, Lindsay stood listening to the conversation, unable to find her voice.

"I met him at the cafe; he looked lost, so I offered him a place to stay." She looked at her feet.

"He is a missing person. You should have-" Mac said, with his anger rising.

"Should have what? Forced him to go home? Call you? What should I have done?" Paula stepped towards Mac, getting in his face. "I did what I could. I offered him a place to stay; I offered him time, safety and advice. I told him not to run, and not to leave the people he loved behind." She said, looking at Lindsay she continued. "I told him to go home to you."

Mac took a beat, while he let the information sink in. "Where did he go?" Mac asked.

"He said he had a phone call to make. That was this morning, I haven't seen it since." She explained as she went back to work.

"Is he coming back?" Lindsay finally managed to say.

"I don't know." She said honestly. Looking at the mixture of emotions in the room, she decided they deserved to know. "I think he's going after Derek."

"Did he tell you this?" Mac asked.

"In so many words. I brought him here because I thought I could talk some sense into him, he didn't even know that Derek escaped until this morning. He sort of... lost it." She said in a motherly tone. "He needs more help then I thought." She said, feeling as if she had failed him.

"We need to find him, if he comes back please call me." Mac said placing his card in her hands. "Please." He said again looking her in the eyes.

Paula gave a nod as they turned to leave. "Wait, what about Diane Matherson?" She called.

"If Paula Miller is helpful, then I've never met her." Mac said before opening the door.

"I'll do what I can." She said, before they were gone completely, Paula walked to Lindsay and took her hand. "Wait, what's your name?" She asked.

"Lindsay."

"He really loves you, and I'm doing what I can to make him remember that." She said with a warm smile.

"Can you do something for me?" Lindsay asked, feeling the love this woman had; though she didn't understand it or know why, she knew she could trust Danny in her hands.

"What's that?" She said stepping closer.

"Can you tell him I love him?" She felt her eyes well up, she moved to wipe a tear that sneaked out of her eye.

"I think I can do that." Paula smiled.

"Thank you." Lindsay said before turning and leaving the apartment with Mac. Paula stood in the doorway waiting for them to leave, once they were gone she came back into the apartment and closed the door and leaned back against it.

"You're being an ass, I hope you know that." Paula said out loud in frustration.

"Do you think they know I was here?" Danny said, entering the room.

"No, I don't think so." Paula said, watching Danny as he walked into the kitchen and moved the contents out of the way. "You heard her didn't you? She loves you. What the hell are you thinking?" She was getting angry.

"I heard her." Danny said dully as he pulled papers out of a file and spread them around the table.

"And?" Paula stood beside him with her hands on her hips as if she was ready to scold him.

"And what?" Danny stood up to face her, Paula saw something different in his eyes, it scared her.

"What happened to you? You can't stand here and tell me that you don't care for that girl! I'm not stupid!" Paula said as Danny moved back to his work before him.

"Are you going to help me or what?" Danny snapped, looking up at her.

"Help you do what? Run?" Paula snapped back.

"I'm done running." Danny said, pulling out a map.

"What do you mean? What are you planning?" She asked as he pulled a marker out and began drawing on the map.

"This is the warehouse where Derek held me. Over here, is the bar uptown where Derek was arrested. I'm going over the places he has been seen, and where he has lived and hopefully I'll be closer to where he'll be." Danny explained as he pointed to the map.

"You can't be serious?" Paula stepped back.

"I told you, I need to end this." Danny turned to face her. "I have to."

"You can't kill him. It makes you as bad as he is, trust me it doesn't solve your problems." Paula put a hand on his arm, hoping he listened but she knew better by now.

"Can we save the hallmark moment?" He said sarcastically, with no emotion.

"I'm serious Danny, you do this and there is no turning back." She said before she turned and left the room, leaving Danny with his work.

* * *

The drive back from Paula's was quiet at first, both wrapped in their thoughts as Mac drove and Lindsay stared out the window. Deciding it was time, Mac decided he could no longer keep the silence, Lindsay was hurting too much.

"Lindsay I want you to know, that no matter what, we have Danny's best interests at heart." He said, trying to sound supportive.

"Yep." Lindsay said dryly staring ahead.

"He needs help and-" He continued before Lindsay turned to him.

"He was in that apartment." Lindsay said quickly.

"What?" Mac said, turning to her in surprise. "How do you know?"

"You spend day and night with someone for nearly four years straight you tend to sense their presence." She answered without emotion.

"Why didn't you say anything back there?" Mac slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road.

"There was no point." Lindsay turned in her seat to face her superior. "I know what he's doing. He wants us to stop looking for him so he can go after Derek under the radar, and I think he's right."

"I don't understand? Are you saying we shouldn't be looking for him? That we should help him find Derek?" Mac was confused.

"We aren't helping him. If we look for Danny, whoever he has on the inside will be that much closer to finding him first. If we look for him he is in danger, we have to find Derek before he finds Danny and before Danny finds him."

"This doesn't sound like a good idea." Mac said, gripping the steering wheel.

"I know Danny, even if he isn't himself, I know him." Lindsay paused for a second to think. "You know as well as me that he is stubborn as hell. He will go after Derek whether we find him or not; that's why I didn't say anything, he wants to be lost. I think she should let him, and we have to find Derek."

Mac looked into Lindsay's eyes hoping she was wrong, but the truth was, everything she was saying made sense. Sitting back in his seat, he thought of her plan and then many outcomes that would come out of it. She was right, they had to stop looking for Danny and find Derek before there was another murder on their hands. Looking back to Lindsay, he made his decision.

"I hope you are right." He sighed. "OK, let's find Derek." He said before putting the car in gear and pulling out on the road.

* * *

Danny went over the maps, and case files from his attempted murder and kidnapping for hours trying to find information on tracking Derek. He knew that if he didn't have the upper hand he was going to be the first in the dirt. Pulling his service pistol off of his holster, he checked it over. Taking the clip out he noticed it was fully loaded, putting the safety on, he put the clip back into the gun as Paula finally came back into the kitchen.

"Danny?" She asked, shocked by the sight of the gun. "What are you doing?" She stood back at the doorway careful not to get too close to him.

"Making sure I'm ready." He said as the gun made a noisy clicking sound.

"For what? Bin Laden?" She smiled as she walked closer to him, Danny laughed slightly.

"I'm sorry, for all this. I'm going to be leaving soon and I'll be out of your hair." He said hoping to sooth her unease.

"Danny, I've known you a day and I can tell you aren't the type to kill in cold blood. You heard Lindsay, she loves you." She pleaded.

"I never said that I'm going to kill him." Danny smiled looking up at her.

"But I thought-" She started.

"I said that I am going to end it. I never said that I was going to kill him." He explained.

"I don't understand. The gun, the maps, the files... what are you planning on doing to him?" She was confused.

"It will all be explained in time, but right now, you need to know how to use this." He said handing her the gun.

"What? No, no, no... I don't think so." She said stepping back.

"Listen, if Mac and Lindsay could find me that means you are no longer safe. This is the safety, if anyone comes here looking for me that isn't Mac or Lindsay I want you to protect yourself." He said showing her the safety on the gun. Turning back to the table he collected his items and placed them in his messenger bag and placed it around his neck.

"You're leaving?" She said taking the gun from him. "What about you? You need protection!"

"Don't worry about me." He said pulling his shirt up revealing his second gun, not to mention the large scars on his stomach. Seeing them, Paula suddenly understood his pain. Her face reacted to the scars and Danny quickly covered up.

"What did he do to you?" She said stepping closer to him.

"They're just scars." He said turning away from her.

"Danny, what did he do?" She pressed.

Danny turned around, looking her in the eyes, he took a deep breath before answering. "He killed me. Good luck Paula." He said plainly as he turned and left the apartment leaving Paula in his wake.


	7. Chapter 7

The team sat around a large table in the lab, case files covering most of it's surface, as they talked through their findings; knowing that time was running out.

"What I want to know is who the hell the rat is?" Flack said raising his voice.

"That's a good point." Hawkes said in agreement.

"In time we'll find the rat, but our main concern right now is finding Derek Harris. Nothing else matters." Mac said, settling his coworkers.

"I don't know what anyone else is thinking but from the looks of it, Derek is a connected guy. I think after the incident at the warehouse, he took down a lot of bad people. Got them thrown if jail, some killed, if anything I think he is filling a lot of big shoes." Flack said plainly.

"Then maybe the F.B.I. knows something about it. If he is involved in organized crime, then maybe we should contact them to help us bring him down or vice-versa." Stella said.

"That could work, but if we bring in the feds and Danny does go after him there is nothing we can do to protect him." Lindsay interjected.

"At this point if he does anything to Derek, it's premeditated. Lindsay we might not be able to help him." Flack explained.

"I know, but if we get the opportunity to stop him before it comes to that, there is a chance. The feds will sooner throw him in jail then get him the help he needs." Lindsay leaned forward, making sure she had every ones attention. "Let's face it, Danny needs help that we can't give him. He's survived this, but he didn't come through as himself. We aren't giving up on him, we are finding another way in, and that's through Derek."

"Lindsay's right." Mac said, standing up he began pacing along the side of the room. "We know this started in Queens, we know he was in the pub uptown when we got the call. Let's start there and work backwards." Mac said moving to his notes. "Flack you know the bartender?"

"You can say we're old friends. I popped her when I was in uniform years back, she knew a lot about the drug scene so I had her put on the pay roll as a confidential informant. She called me to tell me she saw Derek coming in on a nightly basis to throw some back, saw the news put two and two together. But as far as I know, serving this guy booze is as far as she goes." He explained.

"Well let's make sure; you and Hawkes go back to the bar and start asking questions. Stella, you and Lindsay get out there and see if you can get a hold of Robert Harris. Everyone be cautious, we don't want any unwanted attention." He said looking around the room.

"What about you, Mac?" Lindsay asked before everyone left the room.

"I'm going back to talk to Paula, maybe she knows more then she is leading on." He said, packing his notes

"I don't think we should be drawing attention to her right now. It's not safe." Lindsay said with a tone of panic in her voice.

"I'm not drawing attention, I just need to know why Danny trusts her." He explained.

"You're kidding me right?" Lindsay said with a smile.

"What?" He looked up with a confused face.

"I saw the reason the moment I met her." She laughed.

"Lindsay, what are you talking about?" Mac was loosing his patience.

"Mac, have you met his mother? They're practically twins." Lindsay said with a laugh.

"You're saying he trusts this stranger because she reminds him of his own mother?" Mac said, smiling.

"That's the impression I got from her; she's protective, caring, and for some reason she is putting up with his drama. She could be a Messer." Lindsay smirked.

"Makes sense." Mac sighed, and continued. "But I need to know more; I'll be careful." He reassured her.

"Good luck." Lindsay said as she left the room to find Stella.

* * *

Paula rushed cold water over her face as she stood alone in her bathroom._ What have I gotten myself into? _She thought to herself, looking up at her reflection in the mirror. Pulling a towel off of the rack she pushed it to her skin, letting it soak up the water. As she removed the towel, she felt a presence in the room, turning around she realized why.

"Well hello." Derek said smiling at her.

Dropping the towel she attempted to run, only to have Derek grab a handful of her hair, yelling out in pain, she reached back at his hands.

"What do you want?" Paula yelled out, as she felt the gun push the skin on her neck.

"I think we have a mutual friend, and I want to know where I can find him." He said in a menacing tone to her ear.

"I don't know who you are!" She lied, as fear took over.

"Oh Paula, no one likes a liar." He said as he practically dragged her out of the small room to the kitchen. "Now, I am going to ask you once again; where's Danny?" He said slowly as he threw her to the ground.

Paula froze, seeing the gun on the counter behind Derek, she took a second to plan her actions.

"He's gone. He left this morning." She said, hoping he would leave without killing her. Derek kneeled down in front of her, pushing her chin up with his gun.

"Is that right?" His tone was empty, she couldn't read him.

"I swear." Her voice shook. Derek smiled at her, she could practically feel her pulse in her neck. Fear was clouding her eyes, she couldn't breath, she felt a tear fall from her eye.

Letting out what sounded like a laugh, Derek took a breath before pulling his arm back and hit Paula across the face with his gun, drawing blood from her nose and lip.

"No!" She said, crawling away from him, as he stood up and began to kick her repeatedly.

"Where is he Paula?" He yelled as he kicked her again. Paula rolled to her stomach as she spit out the blood sitting on her tongue.

"I don't know!" Paula yelled as she dragged herself towards the gun.

"Don't lie to me, bitch!" He yelled as he kicked her once again, this time in the ribs. Paula felt her bones crack as she got closer to her gun.

"He left!" She said hoarsely as her body ached.

Derek dropped to his knees next to her once again, pulling her head up to face him by her hair. Paula gasped at the sudden pain of the gun pushing into her temples. "But you know where he's going. Don't you?" He whispered in her ear, pulling her head back more. Paula shook her head, as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Please, I don't know anything." She cried.

"See, I think you do. I think you know more then you should." His smile was twisted, it hurt her to look at him. She saw her husbands face as he pressed the gun to her head.

"What do you want?" She asked, praying to see her son again.

"You're going to help me find my boy." He said letting go of her hair, letting her head fall heavily to the kitchen floor. "And if you don't, well... I think we both know how that will end." He stood up, grabbing her by the back of her shirt, yanking her from the floor. Crying out in pain as she stood straight.

"Please-" She attempted before he pulled duct tape out of his coat and turning her around roughly.

"Don't beg; it's not very becoming, and it doesn't work. Ask Danny." He laughed taping her hands behind her back. Paula sobbed, as he draped a coat over her shoulders. Pulling a towel off of the stove, he wet it and began wiping the blood from her nose and lip.

"What are you-" She tried to pull away from him as he did it.

"I can't walk you out of her with blood all over yourself. God, you're not very bright are you?" He said as he roughly wiped the blood from the cut on her lip. "Now, do yourself a favour and shut the fuck up. Capiche?" He said, pushing the gun to her back as he forced her out of her apartment.

* * *

**Hello! Short chapter, but I figured you guys need something to keep you addicted. **

**More to come, I promise!**


	8. Chapter 8

Danny could feel the cold winter wind cut through his body like a sharp knife as he stepped out of his car and cross the street to the old building before him. Pulling the collar of his coat up, hugging his chest as he sped his pace towards the warmth of building held. The moon was high in the sky now, the wooden bar of the Irish pub held its patrons at rest, drinking their liquids as if it were the only thing they had in their world.

Pulling out a stool he settled himself onto it as the bar maid made her way over to him.

"You look lost sugar." She said in a suggestive tone.

"No, I am looking for someone." He said coolly, taking his hat off and placing it on the bar.

"Is that right? Well you might have come to the wrong place." Betty smiled at him, knowing exactly who he was.

"No, this is definitely the place. I'll have whatever you got on tap." He said pointing to the beer glasses to his left.

"You look different without your glasses Danny." She said as she placed the beer in front of him.

"How'd you-" He started.

"I know Flack, and I watch the news. So tell me, what exactly are you looking for?" She leaned forward, leaning on her forearms.

Danny looked her in the eye and played with the cold beer between his hands. If Flack trusted her, he would know he was here; this had to be a quick visit.

"The man that was arrested for... you know the story, he came in here a lot. Did he ever talk to anyone when he was here?" He was to the point.

"No, he was a loner. He escaped, huh?" She asked.

"Yeah." He looked down shamefully.

"Well, I wish I could help babe. I really do, but when that low life came in the only thing he talked to was his beer. He was one sorry son-of-a-bitch." She said with her deep New York accent.

"What else can you tell me about him?" Danny asked, looking down at his beer he picked it up and took a long cold gulp of it down. Letting out a deep breath when he finished.

"What are you diggin' for?" She asked, stepping back she leaned against the bar behind her, looking at Danny with a satisfying grin.

"What do you mean?" Danny acted dumb.

"Well you sure as hell aren't working your own case, so if you want answers from me, you better tell me the truth. What are you are some rogue cop out to settle the score with the man that ruined his life?" She still smiled, but she was serious.

"I don't have to answer to you." Danny said squarely.

"Is that right?" Betty said resting her hand on his hip. Years of working at a bar gave her a ray of confidence and strength.

"Yeah. That's right. Tell me about Derek Harris." He said in a demanding tone.

"How 'bout you let the cops deal with him, alright?" She leaned in close enough to whisper. "Can't talk here, they'll come after me."

Danny looked her in the eyes, he knew he had to play along; he couldn't stand to let someone else die because of him.

"You know what bitch, fuck this!" He said slamming a twenty on the bar. "You won't help me, I'll find someone who will." Pulling his hat on, he turned and left.

Betty watched him leave, the patrons in the bar turned to her and watched her reaction.

"Some people, huh?" She laughed, as she picked up the twenty she noticed a phone number written on the top in black ink. "I'll be damned." She said quietly as she pocketed the money, and wiped the bar.

* * *

Returning to his car, he settled himself into the seat as he took his cell phone from his pocket. He had purchased it at a convenience store that morning, he needed to be as reachable as he could without being tracked down; only Paula knew the number. Opening the phone, he once again tried to called Paula.

"Come on, Paula!" He said in frustration as it once again went to voice-mail. "Where are you?" He said out loud slamming his fist onto the steering wheel.

Looking back up at the bar, he noticed a black car pull up out front. Turning his attention back to the bar, the car sat idling as men get out. They were dressed in long black dress coats, from the distance away, Danny couldn't make out any features, they looked menacing. Watching them, the men continued and walked into the building. A horrible feeling washed over him as the hairs on the back of his neck stood erect. Dropping the phone to his lap, he watched the stain-glass windows of the pub as the men were inside. Suddenly, the windows flashed with the very clear sounds of gun shots as the snow began to fall. Danny lost count at five shots as a tear fell from his eye.

"What the fuck!" Danny said in shock, as the men filed out and back into the car. Sinking down in his seat so no one would see him, he could feel himself shaking. Pulling his gun off of his hip, he waited until the black car was gone from his sights before he opened the door and went back to the bar, taking his phone with him.

Walking into the bar was like walking into a living nightmare. Blood lined the walls and floor, the patrons that once sat on their lonely stools were now slumped forwards bleeding on the bar or laying on the ground, shot in the back. Holding his gun steady, incase someone had stayed behind, he searched the bar for the bartender whose phone number he had given. Coming around the bar he found her; laying on her side, he rushed to her side.

"Oh god!" He said, holding his hand to his mouth in shock. She had been shot in the face, blood was soaking her body and most of the floor and bar area. She had been exicuted in cold blood, and once again, it was because of him. Looking down at her hand he found the twenty dollar bill in her hand.

"Fuck." He said aloud as he brought his hands to his face. "What have I done?" He asked himself calmly.

In his panic, he didn't hear the door chime and the soft foot steps that came through the front door.

"Danny, oh how I've missed you." The voice said in a deep tone.

Standing up from his position slowly, he kept his gun at his side. "Derek." He said with anger in his tone.

"Hello Daniel, I see you've met my friend Betty. You see, I knew you'd show up here eventually, all I had to do was keep my eye on it and what do you know! You showed!" He took a step towards hims him, Danny saw the gun sitting loosely in his hands.

"Why are you doing this?" Danny asked, paralyzed in his position.

"Pride mostly." He continued walking towards him. "But mostly because you pissed me off." Derek smiled at him.

"All these people died, and for what?" His voice was shaking, up until this point he had lost all sense of fear, but the man standing before him took so much from him, including his strength.

"For you. They died for you, Danny. Doesn't that just make you feel so good! Knowing your life is so much more important then theirs!" He laughed.

"Go to hell." He spit out in anger.

"Can't do that." He said putting his hand on the bar, dropping the gun on the wood, as he got closer to him.

"Stay away from me." Danny said, feeling goosebumps run up his arm holding the gun.

"You are in position to be making demands Danny-boy!" Once again, he laughed.

"How 'bout now?" He said raising the gun to his head.

"Oh, so you have grown a pair?" He smiled.

"Something like that." He held the gun tight, Derek saw the shake in his hand as the barrel sat less then a foot away from his face.

"Pull the trigger Danny. Do it." He breathed, pushing his forehead towards the gun. "But if you do, I don't think you're going to be much help to Paula." He flashed a toothy smile towards Danny.

Danny could feel his heart skip a beat, his chest ached as his heart broke into pieces.

"What are you talking about?" He said in barely a whisper.

"Oh you don't know? You're good friend Paula and I have been catching up on old times." He said as Danny's hand shook violently holding the gun.

"You're lying." He breathed.

"I wouldn't be so sure. Come on Danny, you're no killer. Don't be responsible for two deaths today. You kill me, Paula dies. Simple as that." Holding his hands up at his sides, he watched Danny's struggle.

"I want proof she's still alive." He demanded.

"That'a boy." Derek smiled. "Now put down the gun."

"Show me Paula, then you can do what ever you want with me; but I want to know that she is safe." He said angrily.

"Sounds fair." Derek said, pulling a phone from his pocket. Danny looked on as he dialed a number and drought the phone to his ear. "Yeah, it's me. Put the bitch on the phone." He demanded to the person on the other line.

Holding the phone out for Danny to hear, he heard Paula's sobs as she cried. 'Danny, don't do it!' She screamed as Derek ended the call.

"Feel better?" Derek asked, as a tear fell from his eye.

"Take me to her." Danny's voice shook.

"No." Derek smiled and took a step back.

"I said I wanted to make sure she is safe! Let her go! You got me!" He yelled, walking around the front of the bar as Derek reached the place where he dropped his gun previous.

"Not yet." He said. Before Danny had a second to react, Derek reached his gun and fired at Danny. Falling backwards, Danny felt the bullet slice through his shoulder as he dropped his gun. Laying on his side, he watched as the gun slid across the floor out of his reach. His voice no longer present, he heard himself moan as if he was separated from his body. His ears were ringing, his shoulder pulsed with pain, as he once again felt the burden of a gun shot wound.

"Gotcha." Derek said, leaning over his body. Pressing his silver gun painfully to his temple, he pushed his head to the floor as his blood slowly dripped from the hole he placed in his victim. "Just like old times, kid!" He smiled, as Danny shook with fear. Without another word, Derek lifted Danny up by the hair, as he practically dragged him from the blood soaked bar.

* * *

**Guess what? It's my Birthday! And that was my reverse present to you!!**

**You guys have to review, if you don't review, I think no one is reading therefore I wont update as much! I need the reviews like I need water! COME ON! REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

The car was silent as Flack drove the towards the bar he had been many times before, for information and to take down the man that destroyed his life. This time the knot in his stomach told him that much worse was coming.

"How you doing over there?" He heard Hawkes say from the passengers seat beside him.

"What?" Flack said turning his attention away from the stress her felt.

"How're you doing? I know you've been takin' this pretty hard." He said with certainty in his voice.

"I'm fine." He looked back to the road before him.

"Yeah, I can see that." Hawkes stated, knowing that anyone with connection to Danny was anything but fine.

"I saw him this morning." He said softly.

"Saw who?" He asked, with surprise in his voice.

Flack took a beat before answering. "Danny. I saw Danny." He answered as he licked his lips.

"What? Where?" Hawkes voice was raise, he couldn't decide if he was angry or confused.

"Outside Lindsay's apartment." Flack said, refusing to look at his friend.

"Well, no surprise there. Why didn't you bring him in?" He asked.

"I couldn't, he wouldn't have come even if I did convince him. He's blind with revenge, he's not the same person." Flack finally looked at Hawkes.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He said softly looking out the window.

Not another word was spoken until they reached the bar. Getting out of the car, Flack pulled his coat closed across his chest, holding the winter winds at bay as he and Hawkes crossed the street to the pub. As they closed in, Flack noticed blood in the snow, and the door to the bar sitting open.

"Shel, hold it." He said holding his hand up to Hawkes as they moved in. Without another word, they both drew their weapons, leading the way into the bar. Opening the door they were more then shocked by the site before them.

The walls were stained with blood, as bodies lined the floor. Flack felt his heart jump as the smell of blood and gun powder filled his nostrils.

"Hawkes, call for help." Flack said as he moved through the bodies, looking for Betty. Coming around the bar he found what he was looking for as blood pooled around her head. "God damnit!" Flack cussed.

"Back up is on the way." Hawkes said as he approached the bodies on the floor, checking them for life. "They're all dead." He announced joining Flack by the wooden bar.

"What the fuck is going on?" He said out loud, to no one in particular.

Hawkes began to look around for any sign of evidence as he moved closer to the pool table something caught his eye.

"Hey Flack, I got a gun over here." He said as he pulled gloves from his pocket and placed them over his shaky hands.

"Why would someone kill this many people and leave the gun behind?" Flack asked walking towards his colleague, without stepping in evidence.

"Better yet, where is there blood here and no victim?" Hawkes said pointing to the blood on the floor by the pool table.

Flack and Hawkes looked at one another with the same shock of realization on their faces.

"Danny." Flack said with a pit in his stomach.

* * *

Danny sat silently in the back seat of the black Lincoln Town-car as it drive through the snowy New York streets. With Derek to his left, and a large man in the front seat, he pressed his hand on the bloody wound on his shoulder, thankful that it did not hit anything major. As the blood slowly leaked down his hand it dried, pulling at his skin.

"I wish it had never come to this Danny." Derek said softly, looking out the window.

"What?" Danny turned painfully, hissing in pain.

"This would have been done with by now." Derek said turning and looking at him.

"You could have walked away, you didn't have to kill everyone." He said pushing the wound.

"Yes I did." He smiled, Danny felt sick.

"Where's Paula?" His voice shook.

"I told you, I'll take you to her. What you don't trust me?" He and the driver laughed.

"You'll let her go, we have a deal. Me for her." He pleaded.

"Yes, yes. Calm yourself." He said in an annoyed tone.

After a minute of silence Danny spoke again, this time it wasn't to beg or badger him, this time it was truthful.

"You've taken everything from me. I have nothing left. Why are you doing this?" He looked at Derek, he had played a victim well up until this point.

Derek took a long deep breath, shuffling himself in his seat, he turned moving closer to Danny.

"Because I can." He smiled, but to his surprise, Danny smiled back.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He said back. Danny watched the look of confusion on his face; before Derek had a moment to take in the reaction, Danny pulled a pen from his jacket stabbing Derek through the cheek.

Screaming out in pain, his hands went to his now bloody face, as Danny pulled the gun from Derek's belt. The driver swerved as the chaos went off in the back seat. Moving towards his own gun, he felt Danny's confident hand press the gun against the back of his skull.

"Don't even think about it. Give me the gun." He demanded, his tone was dead and full of rage.

"A'ight man, just take it easy." He put his free hand up, then slowly reached around passing Danny his piece.

"You mother fucker." Derek spat blood out, pulling the pen from his cheek. Danny took the gun from the driver, holding the gun against his skull as he ignored his own pain that thumped in his shoulder.

"You're going to take me to Paula. Now, no more fuckin' around." He demanded, pushing the gun harder into his head.

Derek sat watching Danny, knowing that for once he was in control. "Alright, do what he says Jimmy." Derek told the driver, as he pressed a hand to his bleeding face. "I didn't think you had the balls kid, looks like you proved me wrong." He laughed.

Danny took a page from his book, and leaned forward and slammed his gun across his cheek, feeling the bone break as he went. "If you know what's good for you, you'd shut your mouth." He said in a low tone as Derek sat up, holding his newly injured face.

"Well played. Well played Danny-boy." He said, as Danny pressed the gun to his forehead. He now knew that he was going to win this fight after all.

* * *

It didn't take long for the team to arrive at the crime scene and process the evidence, working in a hurried pace, no one had time for emotions. Lindsay began to process the blood evidence as she moved through the crime scene, flashes of Danny's face entered her mind as she worked. Praying that none of the blood was his, but mostly that he hadn't been the one pulling the trigger. It was the only thought on the teams mind. Danny was not a murderer, was he?

"Adam got a hit off of the serial number on the gun." Mac announced as the team looked up at him awaiting his answer. "It's Danny's service weapon. Seeing as how the gun was loaded, the chance that Danny did this is impossible. Which means we're looking to Derek for this." He hoped.

"Mac if that's true, then Derek has Danny." Lindsay said as the words got caught in her throat. Looking back at the computer in front of her as the tests ran on the finger prints she had found.

"We are ending this Lindsay. I promise, we'll find him." Mac said, as a promise to her and to himself. He knew that if they didn't find Danny soon that they may never find him or Derek.

"There has to be somewhere he would take him, somewhere he thinks that no one will look." Stella said as she looked down to find another shell casing from a gun.

"Stella's right Mac. Derek said he wants to finish what he started, where would you go if you were him?" Lindsay asked, knowing what he gut was telling her would bring her closer to Danny.

Flashes of the previous hunt to find Danny scrambled through Mac's head as he realized the only place they could be going. "The warehouse." Mac said triumphantly.

"Yes, it makes perfect sense." Stella said looking up from the floor.

"They are going to the warehouse. He wants to finish what he started where it started, it makes sense." He said pulling his phone from his belt. "Flack I need you and some back up, we're heading to Queens." He said as they left the room, with a destination in mind.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys,

I haven't forgotten about this story, or you, the followers. Sadly, I have come to a block, a massive one. I can't think of anything to say.

I am working on breaking this writers block, but if you guys are patient and wait, I promise I will come back and finish this story and it will be fantastic!

Let me know if you are still interested and I'll keep working!

Thanks,

Trix!

P.s. Thank you to you who read and who wished me well on my birthday! You guys are great!


	11. Chapter 11

The drive was silent apart from the ripping of Velcro from their vests to the clicks of their guns; the silence was near painful as Lindsay watched the road ahead.

"What if it's too late?" Lindsay said, turning and looking at Mac who sat in the driver's seat watching the snow blown road intently.

"It won't be." He said confidently.

"I can't keep doing this. It's too hard." Lindsay said taking a long deep breath. "I can't watch him die all over again." She said softly looking down at her lap in shame.

"No one is going to die today Lindsay, I promise." Mac said, knowing his own lie.

"I hope you're right." Stella said from the back seat, as the layers of Police cars and SUV's made their way to the warehouse that stood empty in Queens, or so they thought.

* * *

Danny felt his confidence peak as the black car pulled into the familar road leading up to the warehouse that had once haunted his dreams. Derek sat in the seat next to him as blood dripped from his chin on the black leather of the seat.

"You're not going to make it out of her alive, kid." He said angrily as he spit more blood from his mouth.

"Then neither are you." He snarled back, not looking at him as he watched the road disappear.

The car pulled up next to the warehouse and stopped, Danny noticed a soft orange glow from the lights inside. The snow was falling heavy around them now, softening the edges with fluffy white flakes. Pushing Derek out of the car, he held the gun to his neck as he hid behind him, the cold air stabbing his wound like a burning knife. Hissing at the pain, he turned, locking cuffs around the drives wrists to the steering wheel, making sure he wouldn't go anywhere he took the keys. Turning back to Derek, he pushed the gun painfully to his neck.

"Walk." He instructed, shoving him in the direction of the door. The driver stayed in the car, now unable to escape. The wind off the river was fierce, and bitterly cold as it whipped the snow around them. Once they reached the door, Danny moved the gun and pushed it into the base of his skull. "Open the door." Derek stumbled, but opened the door without incident.

Walking through the door, he immediately spotted Paula, sitting in the middle of the room, tied to a chair. Her mouth was taped, blood sat on top of the tape as it dripped from her nose and eye. As she looked up, Danny saw the look of fear in her eyes and screamed against the tape as tears fell from her eyes. There was two men surrounding her aimed their guns at Danny as he hid behind Derek, shielding himself from them.

"Good evenin' Boys!" Derek said holding out his hands. "Slight change in plans."

"Let her go, now!" Danny screamed, cocking the gun in his hand. "Derek!" He pressed hard into his head.

"Untie her boys." He instructed after a beat, taking in his surroundings as he spit the blood pooling in his mouth.

The men looked at one another then up at where Danny and Derek stood, making no attempt to do as they were told Danny's stomach turned.

"I said untie her!" Derek commanded, his anger was rising as he began to shake.

"Nah. We're done playing by your rules. The game has changed my friend." The man standing behind Paula said, walking around in front of her shielding her from Danny's view.

"What are you? Fucking stupid? Who signs your pay cheques you son-of-a-bitch! Untie her!" Derek yelled, the pain of which caused his cheek to rip.

"Do you even know what you've done? You brought a cop here, I'm not going down for your fuck ups man!" The man yelled, holding a gun at his side.

"You'll fuckin' do what you are told! Now, untie her so I can finish this." Derek said as coolly as he could fake, feeling the hard metal of the gun at the base of his skull.

"I'm finishing this Derek." Danny said as he hurtfully pushed the gun to his head.

"Is that right? Well then, I guess it's time to even the score Danny, and stop with that fucking gun!" Derek spat. "Chase untie the girl, I'm not asking you again."

"What are you gunna do boss? Huh? You're more fucked up then she is!" Chase laughed watching the blood drip off of his bosses chin.

"Yeah, Boss. It's my game now." Danny smiled, leaning closer in towards Derek he whispered in his ear. "Careful how you treat your employees, some don't take too kindly to abuse. Isn't that right boys?" Danny asked as both men pulled their guns, aiming at Derek's chest.

"What the fuck is this?" Derek yelled as he held his hands up in surprise.

"We're done cleaning up after you Harris. We're done." Chase said stepping closer to Derek. "Danny get the girl and get out of here. We got this fool." He said, as Danny stood holding the gun to Derek's head as he slowly took a few steps back.

"No." His fingers shook, his body ached as the fresh hole in his shoulder pulsed with pain as his shirt was soaking with blood.

"Danny, I said get out of here!" Chase yelled looking at Danny, who shook his head. "I told you, I'm finishing this bro. You've done your part, now get lost!"

"Yeah, Danny-boy get lost!" Derek taunted him. "Wouldn't want more blood on your hands would you." He smiled at Danny as he turned to face him. "The people at the bar weren't enough for you, now you're going to kill more. It's addicting isn't it, having blood on your hands, waiting for the next to die."

"Shut up." Danny said, feeling the tears form in his eyes.

"What's a little more blood shed? Hum? Come on Kid, you know you want to put a bullet between my eyes. Pull the trigger, do it!" He yelled stepping towards Danny.

"Danny get the fuck out of here." Chase said moving closer to Derek.

"No Danny isn't going anywhere. He's going to stay and finish this, aren't you Danny-boy! Come on let's add another scar to my masterpeice. What do you say?" The blood dripped off of his chin as his dark eyes stayed on Danny's, watching every move he made.

"Shut up!" Danny yelled as a tear fell from his eye.

"You think you can kill a man? You think that you are strong enough to end a life?" Derek watched as Danny cocked his gun, aiming at his head he knew he wouldn't have a chance if he actually broke him. "Be a man Danny, kill me!"

"Derek, shut the fuck up." Danny said stepping towards Derek, holding him in his position. "Any animal can take a life."

"That's right, don't you want to trust your instincts? I've ruined everything. End what I've ruined, pull the trigger!" He yelled, watching Danny's hands shake as he pulled the trigger.

* * *

The lights at the waters edge were dim the the blowing snow as the NYPD turned onto the road which held the cold dark warehouse. With the lights turned off for added surprise to the cohabitants of the warehouse, they made their way to the side of the large building.

"Alright, I don't want them to have any advantage. We go in with radio silence, we want Danny out alive and if we can do that safely then it's a huge advantage." Mac said as the team stood before him with their guns at their sides. "Let's end this and bring him home." Mac finished as they spread out in groups of two to clear the building.


	12. Chapter 12

The empty click of the gun, sent chills down Danny's spine. Pulling the revolver over and over as Derek slowly stepped towards him.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Derek said calmly. "You think I'm going to let you take a loaded pistol from me?" He said, quickly grabbing the gun from his hand and smacking it down across his jaw. Danny went down easily, landing on his injured shoulder he gasped out in pain. "Get up, you piece of shit." Derek said kicking him in the stomach as he cried out in pain.

"Stop it Derek, leave him alone!" Chase said walking towards Derek, gun pointed at him head.

"Ah ah ah!" Derek said, pulling a gun from the back if his pants. "I knew you'd be the first to turn." Without thought, Derek pulled the trigger. The bullet cut through his skull like a hot knife through butter, Danny watched as he dropped to his knees and fell forward towards the dirt floor.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" Danny said as he struggled pulling himself towards the gun that landed close to him. Derek was faster as he bent down and picked up the gun.

"Just let Paula go! Please!" Danny said as he tasted blood from the fresh cut on his lip.

"You beg too much." Derek said, turning around and walking towards Paula and the second man standing close to her. "Ricky! I hope you don't follow in the footsteps of your dead beat brother. Woops, no pun intended." He laughed.

"No, no sir." Danny could hear the fear in his voice.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He said looking down at Paula, as he lifted his gun casually and pulled the trigger without even looking as Ricky's body dropped to the floor.

Paula looked up at Derek with terror written over her face, she had watched as this man had brutally murdered men in front of her. She some how knew she was next.

"Derek please?" Danny said, as he made his way to his feet, slowly stepping towards his tormentor.

"Please what?" Derek said turning around to face his last victim, beaten and bloody, Danny stood before him.

"Let her go. You've gotten what you want." He said, as blood dripped off his chin.

"Have I, Danny? Have I really gotten what I want?" He took a step forward. "You said it yourself, one of my sons is dead because of me, my other son won't look me in the eye. Since I 'murdered' you, I've taken over one of the biggest crime families in Manhattan only to be betrayed by everyone. What have I gotten?" Derek spoke in truths.

"You get me." He shook.

"That's right. I get you, the man that destroyed it all to begin with. You weren't suppose to live, you weren't supposed to escape and send the entire NYPD after me! You fucked it all up!" He screamed.

Danny stood before him with his hands at his side, he felt a cold chill run over his body as blood dripped from his fingers to the floor below. "I didn't survive. I won't." Danny said in a shaky voice.

"That's right. It's over for you." Derek said as he pulled his arm up, aiming the gun at his heart.

* * *

Mac stood outside the large door to the warehouse, he could hear voices inside but couldn't recognize any voices over the wind from the winter storm that surrounded them. The wind cut the top of his head as he slowly made enough space to sneak through the door without noise, Lindsay followed closely behind. The warehouse was full of boxes, which traced lines of light across the floor; finding cover was easy as they made their way towards the voices that echoed through the large building.

"Lindsay, stay close. Remember we want Danny out of here in one piece." Mac whispered to Lindsay as the voices got louder.

"If you're going to shoot me, this time don't miss." Danny said with a shaking voice. Lindsay could almost hear his heart beating as she peaked around the corner to see Derek holding Danny at gun point.

"I don't miss." Derek said coldly taking another step towards Danny, who stood with his hands out at his side in surrender.

"Let her go first. I want Paula safe." Danny pleaded. Mac looked around as much as he could to see Paula tied to a chair and gagged; looking back at Lindsay, they continued to make their way around the boxes, closer to Paula.

"I don't think you are quite understanding me, you're done! I make the shots! Literally and figuratively, if you catch me drift." Derek laughed, his voice was raspy as he turned and spit out another mouthful of blood. "Danny, I win. I always win. Don't you see that?"

"Yeah. I do." Danny said as his mouth curved into a smile.

"What's so funny?" Derek said, anger rising.

"If you always win then why is your hostage getting away?" He laughed as he pointed towards Paula.

"What the fuck?" Derek said turning around only to be face with the cold barrel of Mac's gun.

"Hi Derek." Mac said standing feet apart from Derek gun aimed at his temple, as Lindsay untied Paula and helped her to her feet.

"Jokes on me, hum? Is that it?" Derek laughed.

"It's over. Drop the gun." Mac said, his face was dead of expression.

"Out smarted by the famous NYPD again! I'll tell you what? You give Danny a gun, and we'll sort this out correctly." Derek said with his aim still pointed at Danny.

"Not going to happen. This is ending in one of two ways; one is you drop the gun and I take you into custody, or two, I pull the trigger and I paint the floor with what brains you have left." Mac said as his hands stood completely still. Paula was weak, standing took effort as Lindsay pulled her up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Detective, we both know where this is headed." He said with a cocky smile. "I might as well make it worth it." He finished as his smile fell as he turned faster then Mac could see, and pulled the trigger towards Paula and Lindsay. Mac and Danny watched in horror as Lindsay and Paula both feel to the ground. Danny's heart broke as he began to move towards Derek.

"You stupid bastard!" He yelled as he attacked Derek, only to be over powered as Derek grabbed Danny by the hair pulling his body towards him as the gun was pushed painfully into his neck.

"I told you Danny, I always win." He whispered as Danny struggled to break free. "Now Detective, you have a choice to make. Save the girl or save Danny? What's it going to be?" Derek ask as he slowly back away from Mac towards the back door. Mac watched in horror as Lindsay began to move slowly next to Paula and as Danny gasped for air from the tight arm around his neck. "What's it going to be?" Derek screamed as he moved towards the exit.

Behind him Mac could feel the rest of his team enter the warehouse, Derek was no longer surrounded as he found a safe exit from the building. Flack, Stella and Hawkes moved towards where Lindsay and Paula lay as Mac stood holding his aim at Derek.

"Damnit!" He yelled as he watched them disappear from the building.


	13. Chapter 13

Joining Stella and Hawkes, Flack looked down at the his friend as blood spread quickly across Lindsay's body. Finding it difficult to find his voice, his heart was stuck in his throat.

"Lindsay!" Flack said rushing to her side. "Linds can you breath?" He asked pulling back her coat, only to find no gun shot.

"It's not me!" She said pulling herself up. Paula however was not moving as much, Flack suddenly realized who the victim truly was.

"Paula look at me." Lindsay said moving her face towards hers, she was pale and beaten as she lay in shock of what had happened.

"Help me." She said weakly as Stella put pressure on her wound, causing her to moan in pain.

"Help is on the way, you're going to be OK! Stay with me Paula!" Stella said in a comforting tone as her eyes began to flutter.

"Flack, we got this. Go!" Stella said, turning her attention back to Paula lightly shaking her to stay awake.

"You're sure?" Flack asked, noticing he couldn't focus. Everything was blurry as if he was dreaming this moment, another surreal moment to add to his lifetime.

"Go get Danny." Lindsay said looking up in a panic as she softly patted Paula's hair to calm her. "Go!" She yelled.

"Mac, you with me?" Flack said as he pulled Mac's arm towards the direction Derek left.

"Yeah, let's get him." They said as they ran from the building.

* * *

It felt as if the air had gotten thinner as he felt his feet being dragged through the snow, Derek holding him tight as the gun pushed into the skin on Danny's neck. The air was harsh as it whipped around their bodies as the snow got deeper and deeper.

"Stop!" Danny cried, knowing he was headed to the river where Danny would meet his demise. Tripping and falling forward out of Derek's grasp, he screamed again. "Get the fuck off me!" As fast as he could move, he turned throwing a punch into Derek's face.

"Ah! You little fucker!" Derek yelled as he stumbled backwards, but not out of reach from his victim. "You wanna fight a man with a gun Danny? Is that what you want?" He yelled jamming the gun into his in his injured shoulder. Danny screamed out in pain as he pulled his hands up to cover the now fiery pain that blinded him.

"You son-of-a-bitch!" He screamed as his lungs burned in the cold. "You didn't have to shoot them!"

"Oh, shut up!" Derek yelled, pushing the gun angrily into his skin. "Stop complaining, it's over!"

"What's the point? Why are you killing everyone I love? Isn't this enough for you!" Danny screamed, standing was more then he could bare as he felt his knees weaken and he crumbled to the snow below, landing on his knees, as if he was praying.

"Be quiet, it will be over soon." Derek said as he cocked the gun that was place between Danny's eyes.

"Do it! I'm done fighting you!" He said holding his arms up in surrender. "You want to kill me. Kill me, I'm not fighting you anymore."

"So this is how it ends? No fighting? You're just going to let me blow you away?" Derek asked, confusion and power written on his face.

"You've killed the only thing I had to live for. I'm already dead, I might as well stay dead." Danny said truthfully watching the snow fall around him at he looked up. The gun hung loosely in Derek's hand, watching Danny close his eyes he realized the fight was over. With the snow falling around Danny's face he closed his eyes, letting the flakes land on his face, he could feel them melt on his eyes lids as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Be a man and look at me." Derek said. His voice was low, raspy as he once again spit blood from his mouth. "Look at me!" He screamed, but Danny ignored him as he enjoyed the snow.

* * *

The snow was getting thicker by the second as Mac ran through with Flack beside him, it was getting harder to see the tracks through the snow as heavy flakes fell filling the voids. The air froze in their lungs as they ran as fast as they could, catching Derek was all that mattered.

"There!" Mac said pointing in the directions where the tracks headed.

"Haul ass, Mac!" Flack said picking up his pace through the snow, as he held his gun steady in his hand ready for anything.

After fifty feet they spotted them, with Danny was sitting in the snow and Derek standing over him with the gun to his head, there was only one outcome and Derek had planned for Danny to die, execution style.

"Harris drop the gun! I'm not warning you this time!" Mac screamed, the snow and wind so thick he could barely make out anything. Derek did not notice them at he stood staring at Danny in the snow before him.

Danny refused to open his eyes, giving into Derek was the last thing he would do. With his hands in the snow, he squeezed a handful of fresh powder, remembering what it was like as a kid when they'd have a school day, smiling at the happy memories, he suddenly remembered where he was. He couldn't move, his feet unable to move, the blood loss and stress was becoming more then he could handle. He has been here before, he had almost given up once, he had fought and lost against Derek too many times. This time, it wasn't any different.

"Derek! Drop the goddamn gun!" Flack screamed, as Derek finally took notice of their presence, but did nothing to stop them.

"Danny, look at me!" Derek screamed ignoring the guns pointed at his heart. "This has to end! Now! Look at me!" Derek screamed, stepping towards Danny pushing the gun angrily to his head, Danny did not move or open his eyes, just smiled.

"No fuckin' around, Derek." Flack said stepping towards them, knowing Derek was going to die.

"Danny look at me!" Derek yelled. Mac and Flack watched as they saw tears falling freely from Derek's eyes, he had finally lost it. "I want this to be over! Look. At. Me!" Derek screamed, bordering on insanity. Danny kept his eyes closer as he smiled, knowing Derek was loosing it.

"Don." Mac said noticing Derek's grip was weakening on his gun.

"If you won't end it, I will." Derek said as he let the gun sag in his arm. "It's done." He said weakly as he put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

Hearing the shot, Danny slowly opened his eyes and watched as the man that tormented his life slowly fall to his knees and drop into the deep snow beside him. His heart beat slowly in his chest as the snow fell onto his exposed skin, he couldn't move, he couldn't breath. Blood was painting the snow around Derek's head, red like the Devil as Danny's heart continued to pump.

"Danny?" Flack said walking close to him, putting his hand on his shoulder Danny slowly turned to look up at his old friend. "It's over Danny."

Giving him a nod, he couldn't speak as his mouth hung open in shock. Mac removed his coat and placed it around Danny's shoulders, hoping to warm him in the freezing temperatures. "We got you Dan." Mac said, looking down and seeing blood down the front of his coat.

"Flack, he's been shot." He said quietly, as he pulled Danny's weak body towards him helping him out of the snow.

"Lindsay?" He finally found words as he looked down at Derek's dead body.

"She's fine." Flack answered holding him up.

"Paula?" Danny said weakly as his knees gave out, hypothermia and blood loose taking their toll.

"Whoa! We need to get him to the hospital." Flack said pulling his friend close as they made their way back to the warehouse.

"Paula!" Danny asked again as his head sagged in his friends grasp.

"She's getting help, she'll be alright! Stay awake buddy!" Flack said demandingly as Danny's eyes rolled back in his head. "Mac?" He said, as Mac took notice of his deteriorating condition, picking up their pace taking their lost friend back to safety.


	14. Chapter 14

The sounds and smells were all too familiar as Danny slowly opened his eyes; the heaviness of his lids was very present as consciousness came back to him. The dimly lit room cut into his brain as the pain in his body hit him, letting out a groan he realized he was alone. The last time he had opened his eyes in the hospital he was surrounded by his family, his friends. This time he had never felt so alone, the thought of that broke his heart. He knew he didn't deserve their forgiveness, and he wouldn't ask of it either way. The choices he had made in the last couple of months drove him to a life of loneliness, and it was his choice, but at the moment he was regretting the coldness he felt.

Once his eyes opened fully, he shifted his body in the hospital bed, looking out the window he found moon light and street lights filling the room. Pulling back the blankets, he looked down at his arm seeing an I.V. behind his right wrist. Pulling the tube out of the I.V. was easy as he let it fall to the floor beside his bed he painfully moved his legs off of the side of the bed. Moaning in pain as he moved, his hospital gown was not nearly warm enough as he pulling himself off of the bed, resting his feet on the cold floor. Putting his weight on his feet cause a wave of nausea he was not expecting as he rested himself against the bed for support.

"God damnit!" He said out loud, hitting his fist off of the bed in frustration. His eyes were blurry, without his glasses nothing made much sense. Holding his arms out as support himself as he shook he crossed the room to the window, resting his arm against the frame he caught his breath.

"Going somewhere?" Said a familiar voice from the doorway of his room.

"What are you doing here?" Danny asked as Flack entered the room taking a seat next to his hospital bed.

"What do you think?" He smiled, as he relaxed into the seat.

Danny didn't answer, turning back to the window he looked outside as the snow continued to fall, covering New York with a blanket of white.

"You gave us all a scare." Flack said watching Danny struggle to stand up right.

"Story of my life." He said without emotion.

"Get back in bed, man." Flack said finally giving up on keeping distance. Getting up from his chair he crossed the room, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"It's over, isn't it?" He asked looking outside at the brutal winter, holding his chest to hide his pain.

"He's dead. It's over." He explained, noticing Danny was holding his arm across his chest. "Shoulder hurting?" He asked seeing the bruises across his face, as he moved in pain.

"Everything hurts." He replied as he continued to look outside, watching the snow fall.

"Come on. You should be in bed." He said putting a hand on his uninjured shoulder, pulling his back to his bed. Walking across the room, Danny's eyes suddenly felt heavier, as he leaned towards Flack for support.

"What about Paula?" He asked, nearly forgetting about the woman who saved his life.

"She's going to be alright." Flack said helping him back into his bed, seeing his need for pain killers but noticing his I.V. on the floor. "Danny, do me a favour?" He asked as his head lay back against the pillow.

"What?" He asked groggily.

"Don't run away again." He said taking in a long breath. "As much as I'd like to kick your ass, I mean... you ran away, and got your ass shot again. I'd like to kill you myself, but please, just... don't... what I mean is... I'm trying..." Flack stopped and gathered his thoughts as Danny looked up at him with confusion. "You're my best friend. I can't take somethin' else happening to ya." He finished looking at his feet. Danny smiled, finally letting go of his loneliness, though he deserved to be abandoned by the people he had tired so hard to run away from, but he knew they were his family. Noticing how uncomfortable Flack was, he decided to break up the tension.

"I'm not going to kiss you." Danny said dryly.

"Not if you want to get shot again." Flack answered laughing at his weak friend, as they began to laugh at each other. Both never being fond of cheesy moments, this was a perfect way to end their pains.

As the moments of laughter passed, Flack noticed Danny's eyes begin to fade. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." He said as a nurse entered the room replacing the tube in his I.V. as Danny drifted off to sleep.

"Thanks, Don." He said softly as his eyes closed, finally sleeping peacefully. Flack sat watching his friend sleep, knowing how close he had come to loosing him, and how close Danny had come to loosing himself.

Standing up he walked to the door, outside he saw Lindsay asleep in a chair with Flacks leather jacket over her small frame keeping her warm. Both of them had sat there waiting for Danny to wake for hours on end. Moving close to her in kneeled down in front of her, and gave her a soft shake.

"Lindsay?" He cooed keeping his voice low.

"Don? Did something happen?" She asked, sitting up straight rubbing her eyes as she woke.

"No, no, he's fine." He said putting a hand on her knee. "He woke up, but he's alright. I'm going to get a coffee, why don't you sit with him for awhile?" He said seeing her face fall.

"No I'm alright here." She replied straightening out her clothing.

"What?" Sensing her fear.

"He doesn't need me waiting on him. I'm fine here." She said without looking him in the eye.

"Lindsay." He said, getting her attention.

Taking a second, she took in a long breath. "I'm not ready to see him yet." She explained, finally looking him in the eye.

"Why?" He said with compassion.

"Because it's my fault." She said sheepishly, feeling sorry for herself.

"Lindsay-" he said hoping to change her mind.

"No, Don. Stop." She said waving out her arms for her to speak. "I pushed him away, Derek took him. I tried to help him, and he ran away. I am pushing him away. I need to keep my distance. I don't want him to get hurt any more, not because of me." Lindsay said as calmly as should could.

"I know you don't want to hear it, and hell, you probably won't listen anyways, but trust me when I say that this isn't your fault. It's not even Danny's fault. It's Derek's fault. It's over. We can't let him ruin our lives anymore. He's taken enough." Flack said holding her shoulders with his hands. Lindsay looked at her hands folded in her lap, looking up at Flack with tears in her eyes she gave him a nod in reply, not trusting her voice. "Go sit with him."

"Ok." She said in a small voice. As she stood up, Flack pulled her into a hug. When she tried to pull away he pulled her closer, keeping her in his arms.

"He'll be alright, Linds. We just have to be there for him. We'll get through this. I promise." He said keeping her together.

As he let her go, he gave her a smile as she slowly stepped into Danny's hospital room. Watching her enter he suddenly felt better knowing that they would all get through this, with no more damage that had already been done.

Lindsay sat in the chair beside his bed as Danny slept, watching his chest rise and fall she put her hand on his and felt his warmth once again. Leaning forward she put his hand against her cheek, feeling his skin on hers warmed her heart. Feeling him there made everything seem like a nightmare, she hadn't lost him yet. Keeping him safe was her priority, and she wouldn't leave him or let him leave her again. Laying with her head on the bed next to his hand she fell asleep feeling his warmth next to her.


	15. Chapter 15

Sitting in the awkward hospital chair, her back ached from attempting to sleep in it. she was no longer comfortable. Danny slept soundly before her, finally giving up, she moved off of the chair and inching her body along side Danny's body tucking herself under his arm. Lindsay's body instantly warmed with her body close to his; after all of the nights she had spent with him, cuddled up under his chin with his arms wrapped around her, she had always slept so peacefully. Since they had broken up they had fallen apart, she knew she needed him in her life more then he could understand. She couldn't breath the same without him, she never slept right without him and her heart had lost its rhythm without him. Without him, things just didn't make as much as much sense. Running her hand over his chest, she closed her eyes and let sleep take over her body. Finally breathing again, she slept for the first time in months.

Opening his eyes seemed difficult with the bruising around his eye, but forcing them open he looked down to see Lindsay asleep at his chest. Smiling at the peaceful look on her face, he traced circles around her back. A tear formed in his eye as he watched her sleep, for the first time, he was happy that he hadn't lost everything. Nothing but a few scars.

Rubbing her back seemed to stir her awake as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him. She had no words, watching him smile made everything that had happen go away and was replaced with joy. Shifting up his body she placed a warm hand on his cheek and kissed him. Long and hard. She tasted him, the sweet warm taste she craved from him. The softness of his tongue and the roughness of his unshaven beard as she held his face kissing him with everything she had.

Danny could feel his heart mending as Lindsay held onto him, feeling the desperation in her touch he brought his injured arm up to touch her face, forgetting the wound that sat on his shoulder.

"Ow!" He said through her mouth as she backed off quickly.

"I'm sorry!" Lindsay said, covering her mouth as the guilt hit her.

"No, no, it's OK!" Danny said quickly seeing the fear on her face. "It was my stupidity." He explained, pulling her close again.

"Are you in pain?" She asked, resting her chin on his chest, still looking him in the eyes.

"I'm OK. I like this." He said referring to her laying with him. "I messed up, Linds." He said finally breaking his eye contact.

"Don't." She said pulling his chin towards her, forcing him to look at her. "No more apologizes, no more blaming, no more running. It's over." Her eyes spoke volumns.

"I'm-" He began, but was stopped by Lindsay's hand over his mouth. He smiled as she removed it.

"I mean it. This is a fresh start, we're OK, you're OK, Paula is going to be OK, and Derek is dead. Please, the next thing you say better not be an apology." She looked him in the eyes, making sure he listened.

"OK." He said softly, as he pulled her closer with his uninjured arm. "Can I say one more thing?"

"What?" She asked.

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too." She pulled herself closer and kissed him once again. This time she kissed him slowly, taking in his scent as she went. Hoping the moment would last forever.

When she pulled back she noticed Danny kept his eyes closed, a smile still present on his face.

"What are you thinking?" Lindsay asked.

"That I never thought I'd experience that again." He opened his eyes and looked down at Lindsay. "I thought Derek killed you."

"Well he didn't." She smiled.

"Paula is really going to be alright?" He suddenly felt a wave of pain as he thought of her.

"She was shot in the abdomen, but she's fine." Looking at his face contorted with pain she worried. "You alright?"

"Fine." He dragged in a long breath, before attempting to speak again. "I want to see her."

Lindsay thought about what that might do to him in his unstable position, then realized what was best for him was to let him do what he wants.

"Danny?" Her voice was struggling as she got his attention.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you trust her?" She asked curiously.

"I-" He stopped to think about it. "I don't know. She just... she just has a way about her. It wasn't a sexual thing if that's what you're thinking."

"I know." Lindsay said softly.

"In a way, I don't think it was about trust. Not that I don't trust her, I do. Paula was the first person in a long time that didn't know what had happened to me. She wasn't at the hospital after Derek shot me, she didn't have to sit by my bed while I was in a coma, she wasn't there when I had to go through rehab, she never saw me as this weak sick person that I had become. I never felt weak around her. After she figured out who I was, she still didn't care about the details, it was refreshing to meet someone who didn't pity me." It felt good to get this off of his chest.

"You think I pitied you?" Lindsay said feeling guilty once again.

"At the time I did, but now I know it wasn't about pity, you just wanted to be there for me. I was being selfish." He pulled her close and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know you said no apologizes, but I was in a bad place and I pushed you away. For that I am sorry, I think it's becoming a regular thing for me."

"Yeah we're going to have to work on that." Lindsay laughed.

"Instead of an apology, how about a thank you." Looking down at her, he realized what he could have lost.

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me." Lindsay looked up at him and saw the honesty in his blue eyes and leaned forward to kiss him once again.

"Who says I haven't." She said as they parted with a smile.

"Thank you, really." He smiled again, kissing her softly.

"One thing though, do you think that it helped?"

"What?"

"Running away? Pretending to be someone else?" She wanted to know the truth.

"Not at all. It sucked. I still got captured and shot, Paula got shot. I basically ended up exactly where I started, well with a few exceptions." He said referring to Lindsay laying in his arms.

"Don't do that again. Promise me you won't?" She asked cautiously.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He pulled his arm around her once again, wincing in pain from his shoulder.

"You need something for the pain?" She sat up, moving across him, she saw the look of pain across his face. "I'll get a nurse to give you something. Be right back." Slipping off the bed carefully she put a supportive hand across his chest.

"Thanks." He said scrunching his face in pain. Pushing his head back into the pillow to fight off the pain as Lindsay left the room, he took long deep breaths remembering he was the lucky one, again.

* * *

_**I decided to add some honesty to this chapter. Sort of explain why Danny chose the things he did. A couple more chapters to go. REVIEW!!!!**_


	16. Chapter 16

Watching Paula sleep, Danny finally relaxed. The Doctors had explained to him that her gun shot wound was not life threatening, that she was merely sleeping instead of in a coma like Danny had first thought. Seeing her in such a fragile place broke his heart, she was here because of him and him alone. Walking slowing into her hospital room, he suddenly understood all of the emotions his friends had felt over him after he had been shot, a mixture of anger and regret as he settled himself next to her chair and held her cool hand in his.

Leaning forward he rested his forehead against the back of her hand, taking a deep breath he did what he could to relax himself.

"I'm sorry." He said as a tear escaped his eye. He didn't mean for it, he tried to hide it, but he couldn't hide his quilt as she lay in the bed asleep beside him.

"It's alright, Danny." He heard in a raspy voice, looking up he saw Paula's sleep filled eyes staring down at him. Blinking away her tired eyes, she shifted in bed.

"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this, Paula." He said in barely a whisper, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

"I dragged myself into this Danny." Paula's voice always had a mothering feel to it, in a way that comforted Danny. "Don't blame yourself for me getting hurt."

"How can I not?" He said, this time with a smile. "Are you in pain?" He asked, his smiled fading quickly.

"Yes and no. Are you?" Sitting up straighter took more effort then Paula was expecting, having never been shot before, how could she know what to expect.

"Yes and no." Danny smiled, then looked down at his hand still holding hers.

"I knew what I was getting into, maybe not as severe as I thought, but I knew you were in trouble and I did my best to help you. That's not your fault, it's mine. I do want to apologize to you, Danny." Paula said giving Danny's hand a light squeeze.

"For what?" He cocked his brow in confusion.

"I told Derek where you were going, I helped him find you." Paula's voice broke, giving away her betrayal.

"What?" He said, letting go of her hand.

"I'm sorry! I truly am! I had no choice, he was going to kill me and Connor if I didn't help him." Tears fell from her eyes as she watched Danny's face fall into a frown.

Danny didn't know how to react, he didn't know what he should feel. Taking a second to absorb this new information, he tried to control his heart beat.

"I wouldn't have done it, but he said he had people watching Connor at school, if I didn't lead them to you they were going to kill him. I'm sorry Danny, I didn't have a choice!" Paula cried, pulling her hands to her face she wiped away her tears.

"Its... it's alright." Danny said, realizing her voice was barely legible. "I don't know if I wouldn't have done the same. I'm sorry I put you through that." He continued as he painfully stood up, turning to leave, he felt Paula reach out and grab his hand.

"Wait, please?" She said holding him in place. "Don't go, just hear me out, please?" She begged.

Danny couldn't look at her, shame torn through his body causing his stomach to twist and turn. Holding his gaze to the floor he felt her hands on his wrist as she began to speak, pulling in a long breath, she continued.

"I think it's fair to say we have both been through hell. We have, and we survived it. We can't let these things determine our future, Danny. Derek Harris was evil, he was the reason he tore you apart and brought us together, don't let him win. I'm happy I met you that day in the cafe, you looked as lost as I have been my whole life. I knew I could help you, no matter the cost. Believe it or not you saved me, in more ways then you think." Shifting her hips so she could face Danny, she let out a slight moan in pain. "Before you walked into my life, I was going through the motions. I wasn't living, I have been too afraid to live. I'm sorry I led Derek to you, but I'm happy I did, because now he is dead and we can both move on. Danny, look at me. Don't be angry with me, Please?"

"I'm not." He said shamefully.

"Then what is it?" With what strength she had, she pulled him closer.

"I don't know what to say to you. He forced you to choose between me and your son, I can't believe I put you in that position. I don't deserve your forgiveness." He said, refusing her eye contact.

"It doesn't matter, there is nothing to forgive. Please, look at me?" She asked softly. Finally giving in, he looked up at Paula, his eyes wet from tears, he blinked away the water letting it fall down his cheek. "We survived, that's what matters." She finished.

"OK." Danny said quietly, "I just need some time."

"OK." She said agreeing they both needed it. "Don't run away again." Paula said sternly in a motherly tone.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said with a weak smile, as he sat back down in his chair.

* * *

In the days after, Lindsay had not left Danny side, even while visiting Paula she would stay out of sight, but was always close. Truth be told, she was afraid to turn her back for the quickest second. Knowing that he had no reason left to run, she did not want him to go. After two days he was released from the hospital, his injuries were minor and the doctors assured her that he was safe to go home.

Danny had moved into the bathroom to change into some fresh clothes leaving Lindsay alone in his room to pack up his things, picking up a shirt Danny's wallet fell to the floor. Bending forward to pick it up, she noticed the photo she had given to Danny months before, when they were still together, sitting in its rightful place staring up at her. Sitting back on his bed, she pulled the picture from it's place and flipped it over. "_So you'll always know home, Montana._" Written on the back in black ink.

Danny stepped out of the bathroom as he replaced his arm back in the sling.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, noticing her ghostly expression.

"You kept it?" Lindsay asked, showing him the photo.

"Of course I did." He smiled, taking it from her fingers and sitting down beside her. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, I guess it's just a little surprising is all." She said, still confused.

"Why is it surprising? After everything we've been through, you know I never stopped loving you. To me, you're home. Just like it says." He said putting his good arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. Resting his forehead on hers, he closed his eyes. "Have I told you how lucky I am?"

"Whys that?" Lindsay said with a smile.

"Because I can finally go home." Danny said letting out a deep breath of relief.

"Then let's get out of here." She said, leaning forward and placing a soft long kiss on his eye lid. Pulling her hands up, she held his face in her palms, Danny rested his hand on hers, holding his eyes closed he truly felt her presence. Kicking himself for running from her, he looked up at her to find her staring at him.

"What?" She wondered out loud.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." He finished before he kissed her, soft at first then needing more he placed his hand on her face and deepened the kiss. Without realizing it, she let out a soft moan of satisfaction that caused goosebumps to roll over Danny's skin. After only a minute, that felt like an eternity, they parted lips and rested their foreheads together softly.

"I swear to god Danny, if you ever do something like that again I will kill you myself." Lindsay said fully knowing she would make good on this promise.

"Kiss you or run away?" Danny smiled.

"Shut up!" She laughed.

"Ahem." They heard from the doorway, looking up they found Flack staring at them. Separating slightly, they awkwardly said their hellos. "Don't mean to interrupt. I don't know about you, but I am sick to death of this hospital. How about we get out of here?" Flack smiled at them.

"Amen to that! Let's go." Danny said, standing up slowly with some help from Lindsay, after all he wasn't yet at one hundred percent. Picking up the rest of his stuff, Lindsay zipped up the bag and hung it over her shoulder and took Danny's hand in hers.

"Let's go." She said happily.

"Don, man, I just wanted to..." Danny began.

"Don't mention it." He said, before he could finish. "But Danny, I want you to know-"

"Yeah yeah, if I do it again, you'll kill me. Got it." He smiled as he and Flack shook hands, which quickly turned into a loose hug.

Walking out into the hallway, Danny was shocked to see the rest of the team waiting for him. For the first time since Derek had shot himself, he found himself speechless.

"I..." He began to speak, but was at loss for words.

"You don't have to say anything, Danny." Mac said stepping forward, Danny found himself unable to look at his mentor. "I still want you on the team, but I don't want you to rush. You need to take care of yourself, you need to get better. I have conditions for you to come back, you must take counseling. Mandatory counseling, and only after you get the OK to come back, then you're welcome to come back." Finishing by putting a comforting hand on his good shoulder.

"Thanks, Mac" Danny said finally looking up at him. Without a beat, Mac gave him a weak hug, afraid of damaging him in any way. Breaking away, Danny cleared his throat. "I know you guys probably don't want to hear it, but I need to say it. I'm sorry for all the crap I put you through. I never meant for anyone to get hurt, I thought it was over and clearly it wasn't. Thanks for standing by me." He finished and forces a small grin hoping they wouldn't laugh in his face.

"Alright, alright, enough with the heart to heart moments, can we get out of this place?" Flack said breaking up the tension.

"Yes, please!" Danny said as the team laughed, a sigh of relief as they filed out of the hallway.

As they reached the front doors of the hospital, Stella, Hawkes, Flack and Mac walked through the doors, but as Danny walked through he suddenly stopped. Lindsay who was holding his hand stopped and turned back to him.

"Danny?"

"It's really over isn't it?" He asked, looking back into the hospital expecting Derek to come out of no where.

"Yeah, it's really over." Lindsay said offering him a warm smile. Danny lifted his hand holding Lindsay's and gave it a light kiss. "Let's go home." Lindsay said softly as she pulled his hand in the direction of the front door.

"Yeah." He said letting out a deep breath. "Let's go."

_**The End**_

**Thanks for reading guys, I hope you enjoyed. Please review and look for my next story coming in the next little while. Thanks for all of the reviews!  
**


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